HavocNdeeD - Distoria Album Review

Last year I listened to nearly 1,000 albums that were released in 2011. This year, I'm on pace to hit that total again, if not significantly exceed it. When I sit back and actually think about those numbers, I realize that there is rarely an album that truly sticks with me. There's the occasional effort here and there that gets me to perk up and that might even get me to toss them on a year end list or something, but when I look at my musical catalog, there's probably only a group of 50-75 albums that I ever want to actively listen to. These albums stand out because they are either wonderfully unique or they exemplify the peak of a genre. One of those albums was the self titled effort from Innerpartysystem. It was something new and fresh at the time; I'd never heard an amalgamation of pop, electronics, new wave, and rock quite like that before and, frankly, haven't since. But then HavocNdeeD went and released Distoria…

I nearly skipped over this EP simply because of the band's horrendous name. It screamed late 90s or early 00s nu-metal and the album art wasn't doing them any favors to dispel that assumption. Luckily, as mentioned earlier, I am an insatiable monster that craves new music from every source and genre possible, so this eventually hit my headphones. Nearly instantly I knew I found something different, something that was going to make me keep coming back. "Breathing in Seconds" was the closest thing I'd heard to the amalgamation Innerpartysystem put forth years back. The pulsating undercurrent of industrialized beats stretched to their extreme, guided the methodical pace of the song, allowing the vocals to float above it all while a heartbroken piano line pulled at you… this song… it's moody as hell and you can't escape the grasp it will have on you.

But as quickly as HavocNdeeD hooked me, they almost lost me. "At Last," the second track on this EP, is the one oddball of the bunch. Instead of sticking with the moody electronics of the rest of the EP, they delve into a country and Americana influenced approach that, on its own actually isn't all that bad, but as a part of this EP comes across as something zooming in from way out there in left field.

From there, however, the EP gets back on course and continues to play with the combination of modern electronics, absolutely spot-on downtempo pacing, melancholic (almost nu-metal-ish crooning) vocal lines, utter coolness, and infusions of dubstep (not brostep, drop-heavy, Transformers-raping-each-other shit, mind you, but churning wub-wub bass lines and movements). After the first two tracks, which are easily the best and worst songs on the album, the trio seemingly goes through a growth and evolution of their unique sound.

"Vision" carries forward the themes and vibe of "Breathing in Seconds" but pulls back just a bit in intensity, which allows the new mix of "Headspin" to come through with full force when it follows. The pulsating bass lines are coupled with grimy, distorted, buzzingly huge electronic pushes that guide the vocals and show the first hints of the dubstep influence, an influence the band wields expertly.

"Waiting Game" lets the dubstep tendencies of the band fly free, being the most aggressive, cathartic, and booming track on the album. I'd be remiss to note that this could easily fit at home between efforts from Bassnectar or Flux Pavillion, but it's so well done that it doesn't feel like a contrived shoe-horning in of a currently popular sound.

Then you get the closer, "Where Do We Go," that puts together all of the individual pieces of what HavocNdeeD worked with on this EP. There's a further exploration of dubstep wobbling, haunting vocals, thick bass undercurrents, and methodical pacing. It's completely evident that this trio are a mature band that can expertly create a sound that is wholeheartedly unique, while uniquely utilizing pieces of genres that are already oversaturated well known.

If you've been waiting for the second coming of Innerpartysystem, here you have it, after a fashion. If you crave some serious electronic and dubstep flavored music, here you have it. And if you want a sure-fire inclusion for your year end EPs list, here you definitely have it.

Rick's Discoveries Volume XXIV

After my last article, which lacked the usual metalcore and hardcore entries, I wanted to make sure I touched on those genres and their closely related brethren because there are, despite what I may have insinuated in that article, some great bands and albums in those genres that seem to be sliding underneath everyone's radar. So here are some recent heavy picks that should keep your workout mix fresh!

Sky Came Burning - Patent Pending

I readily admit that some of the songs on this album are not very good (and with only 9 tracks, that's usually a bad sign), but some really tickle the nostalgia center of my brain. There are some definite bits of Killswitch Engage throughout, along with some hints of Static-X (mostly in the vocals) and early 2000's metalcore to be found. The album is a little rougher than most modern metalcore albums; there isn't that glossy sheen coating everything. This rawness helps the band feel more "real" than a lot of their contemporaries, even if they're not exploring any new territory.

Callejon - Blitzkreuz

I've been paying attention to Callejon for a few years, noting they had potential, but they never seemed to capitalize on it; they were always a bit just below average. On Blitzkreuz, however, they've finally pulled it all together to create a fun, electronic-tinged melodic metalcore album. Not quite as trendy as many current metalcore bands, Callejon put a lot of focus on melody and making songs that are catchy as opposed to making sure they stay within their genre's strict confines. Imagine It Dies Today mixed with a modern Bullet For My Valentine flair and toss in some hip-hop flow from time to time (I realize that sounds horrible, but it's only slightly awful).

From the Eyes of Servants - Change the World

If you don't pay close attention, it would be pretty easy to mistake Change the World for a new Comeback Kid album. The only things that are missing are a few big, catchy choruses. Beyond that, this is a solid hardcore effort that falls into the same vein of what you'd hear from Verse orThis Is Hell (earlier career). There's not a lot else to say other than this is very, very solid and plays to the genre perfectly.

Galaktik Cancer Squad - The Gathering

Just ignore the band name. Yeah, it's lame, but that shouldn't detract from enjoying a hefty compilation of the band's previous works into one nice package. The Gathering is 74 minutes of black metal tinged atmospheric sludge metal. Predominantly instrumental (there are a few harsh black metal vocals here and there), Galaktik Cancer Squad excel at creating epic, lengthy compositions that channel the spectrum of bands from Isis toWolves in the Throne Room. This effort comes at you with a full wall of sound and rarely lets up.

Guardians - The Alignment

Progressive metalcore is like candy to me, and The Alignment is a big ol' Snickers bar loaded with breakdowns, start/stop riffs, melody, and punishing drumming. Take some of the best parts of August Burns Red, Architects, Misery Signals, and After the Burial and you've got a good sense of what to expect from Guardians. There may only be nine tracks on this album, but all of them are executed perfectly, getting the most out of every moment.

Signal the Firing Squad - Abnegate

I initially wrote these guys off after their debut, Earth Harvest. Their brand of deathcore with technical elements seemed sloppy and wasn't really all that compelling. On their sophomore effort, however, they've transformed into a deathcore band that has some stellar technical moments. Their riffs are precise, thick, and bludgeoning when they need to be. I'm still not a huge fan of their fairly standard and uninspiring deathcore vocals, but everything else about the band exemplifies what is needed to make a successful technical deathcore album.

Tigerscout - Home Less

Imagine a much more pissed-off version of La Dispute mixing it up with some early Thursday and maybe even a tinge of The Chariot, but also staying true to the traditional screamo aesthetic. There's a lot of musical craziness and abrasive passages swirled together into this 11 song EP (many tracks don't even break the 2 minute mark). There's no room for fat on this effort, and that's absolutely perfect.

Aviyn - Aviyn

If you hate the Rise Records sound, move along. If you find yourself sometimes drawn to it, then you could do a lot worse than Aviyn. Ever since the early 2000s, I've loved metalcore that fully utilizes the harsh/clean approach. Bands like From Autumn to Ashes and Beloved were two of my favorites. As time has progressed, we now have a newer take on the sound they started. You have bands like The Devil Wears Prada and The Air I Breathe and Of Mice & Men who have made the harsh/clean style of metalcore more aggressive, breakdown filled, and keyboard tinged. Some hate it, but I enjoy it. And it is this latter class of metalcore bands that Aviyn falls smack dab into the middle of. If those band names are appealing to you, then you shouldn't miss this album. Just don't get your hopes up for their Deftones cover… it's kind of lacking.

Choking on Illusions - Guide Me Home

I feel like there are less and less melodic hardcore bands around today. The scene has shifted to metalcore and deathcore or gleaming, shiny post-hardcore. Even melodic hardcore heavyweights The Ghost Inside went a bit soft on their last album. Choking on Illusions don't play that game. They're quite comfortable playing melodic hardcore that would feel right at home in the early to mid 2000s, often eschewing breakdowns in favor of more traditional hardcore elements. They do slip into a few metalcore tropes here and there, but it's pretty rare. Instead you'll hear influences ranging from Comeback Kid to No Trigger to Strike Anywhere.

Write This Down - Lost Weekend

When Decoy covered Write This Down's debut album, it was noted that the album was a bit all over the place, traversing many of the trendy genres of the time. On their sophomore album, this is still the case, but they've narrowed down their focus a bit. The majority of the songs on Lost Weekend have a southern rock/metal bend to them, but that doesn't stop the band from still treading into the realms of metalcore, pop-punk, and straight up alternative rock. You can hear bits of Maylene and the Sons of Disaster, He Is Legend, Chevelle, Anberlin, and Taking Back Sundaystrewn about this album, sometimes to good effect, other times not as much. Still, this is a compelling album simply from the standpoint that the band is not afraid to branch out and take chances on seemingly every song.

Enabler - All Hail the Void

There is no slowing down the pace of Enabler's hardcore/metal concoction. This is piss & vinegar infused, distorted, abrasive, crusty, metal-tinged hardcore. It's like the members of Enabler took the best parts of the bands they used to be in (ie: Harlots, Shai Hulud, Earth Crisis, Trap Them) and fused them all together into a rage-filled album intent on punishing you in all the right ways.

Rick's Discoveries Volume XXIII

During the last month or so, I found myself listening to tons of metalcore and hardcore--much more than I usually do. Because of that, I think I took notice of bands that fell outside of those genres a bit more as they were a distinct change of pace from what was usually coming through my headphones. What that means is this batch of discoveries will be a bit more diverse than some others. Enjoy!

Aerodyne Flex - Transmissions

If you had Between the Buried and Me listen to a bit of Devin Townsend's heaviest efforts and mix in some Corellia, you'd get a close approximation of what Aerodyne Flex sounds like. There aren't as many odd flourishes as you'd get with a BTBAM album, but there are definitely a lot of time changes, as you'd hear with BTBAM. There's also a healthy interspersing of ambiance and atmospheric slow-downs to temper the intermittent breakdowns and sledgehammer riffing.

Hypomanie - Calm Down, You Weren't Set on Fire

Be still my beating heart! It's true, you have found a blackglaze band that actually has solid production values and focuses on the "glaze" instead of the "black." Yes, there are still some underlying bass rolls and distorted guitar movements, but it's all there to accentuate the post-rock leaning shoegaze that Hypomanie uses to tug at your heartstrings, instilling an overwhelming sense of melancholy and bittersweetness. Fans of Alcestwith an appreciation for post-rock will definitely be fans of Hypomanie.

69 Chambers - Torque

I'm a sucker for female fronted hard rock and metal, so it's no surprise that I liked 69 Chambers' Torque. There are easy comparisons to make to All Ends, Lacuna Coil, and your favorite radio-friendly post-grunge bands. The majority of Torque sees the band playing grungy hard rock with some alternative metal tinges here and there. All of the songs are pretty easy on the ears and smooth going down… but it is a little overlong. With 14 songs on the album and half of them clocking in over 4:30 each, you may find yourself getting worn out, but taken in small bits 69 Chambers give you some great female fronted hard rock.

Leander - Szividomar

Leander comes to us from Hungary, bringing with them a combination of modern groove metal and alternative metal. I hear bits and pieces of mid-career Machine Head throughout the album, but with a lot less suck than mid-career Machine Head. You shouldn't have a hard time banging your head and air-guitaring to Szividomar, but unless you know Hungarian you'll have a bit of a difficult time singing along!

Jairus - Streams Over Sad Parades

Jairus have been flying under the radar for over a decade, mostly because they don't release much in the way of new music. I've been a fan ever since I picked up The Need to Change the Mapmaker thinking it was a Junius album I'd never heard of. What's odd is that the two bands aren't so different from one another. Jairus takes the space rock approach into the post-hardcore realm, infusing some bits of well placed aggression that counterbalance the Hopesfall influenced space rock of the rest of the EP. Again, we're treated to only a morsel of Jairus' musical talents as there are only 3 songs and an interlude clocking in for a total of 13 minutes to be found here, but it's definitely worth it.

MaLLy & The Sundance Kid - The Last Great…

MaLLy has had a presence here in the Minneapolis hip-hop scene for a few years. Up until The Last Great… he's shown tons of potential, but hasn't quite been able to nail down an album that exploits that potential. Here, however, he's finally found his groove and puts forth a great conscientious hip-hop effort that sounds a bit like a mix of Childish Gambino (his slower numbers), Atmosphere (their newer efforts), and a bit of Aesop Rock. Add to this some guest spots from K. Raydio, Brother Ali, and Claire de Lune and you have a pretty rock solid hip-hop effort.

Anatomy of the Bear - Anatomy of the Bear

I'll get my biggest criticism of this album out of the way right now--this album is overlong. That being said, Anatomy of the Bear's self titled album weaves its way in and out of the various post-rock sub-genres, focusing predominantly on the ambient side of things. There are moments of Sigur Ros' beauty, God Is an Astronaut's pacing, and The American Dollar's ambience all over the place. If you're a post-rock fan, this will cover all of the bases for you, just make sure you have the endurance to make it through as it is a 70 minute journey.

The Chant - A Healing Place

On their third album, it looks like The Chant have perfected their form of gothic rock topped with hints of ambient, alternative rock, and progressive rock. Sharing a lot in common with Paradise Lost and Katatonia, The Chant focus on lengthy compositions that provide plenty of time for the listener to get lost in the dreary, downtrodden atmosphere the band creates. With only one song under 6 minutes in length, The Chant don't rush anything and, for them, it pays off immensely.

Fail Emotions - Speed of Light

Ever wish that Enter Shikari was more electronic and less post-hardcore? Or that you could hear an early version of I See Stars without the extreme dosage of suck? Then Fail Emotions are right up your alley. They're very electronics heavy and layer their post-hardcore/metalcore influences into the electronics. Usually it's the other way around, but not here. With this inversion of the usual in this genre, you'll no doubt find yourself more inclined to have some dancing tendencies instead of moshing/spin-kicking to the songs.

Gigawatt - Detritus

Please note right now, there's a healthy amount of Meshuggah worship on this album. If you can overlook this fact (which isn't really that big of a deal, unless you're burnt out on djent), you'll find a solid progressive metal album with some lengthy compositions. Besides the Meshuggahinfluence, you'll also hear a bit of Nemertines in some of the dissonant playing patterns and dirty guitar tones. The focus of this album is mostly on big, meaty riffs and less on technical wizardry, which works out quite well.

Gideon - Milestone Album Review

It was only a little over a year ago that Decoy Music took a listen to Gideon's debut album. The general consensus was that the band was far from doing anything unique, but they knew how to get a head bobbing or a toe a-tapping with their brand of mosh-centric metalcore. In the scant amount of time that has passed since Costs, not much has changed for Gideon other than a tightening up of their sound and a phasing out of some melodic elements.

Whereas it was quite noticeable that The Ghost Inside explored a more melodic angle of the metalcore realm with their latest, Get What You Give, Gideon keep their feet firmly planted in the ass-kicking, breakdown heavy, abrasive, non-melodic metalcore realm and go heavier than they did onCosts. You'll notice quite early on that there's a menacing angle to many of the songs. For example, the guitar groove during the last chunk of "No Acceptance" is downright murky, while the many breakdowns found on the album are often void of any surrounding melodicism. The occasional melodically tinged guitar line can be heard here and there, but it is the exception, not the rule and is most noticeable in the Misery Signalsinfluenced bridge guitar lines in "Overthrow."

As with any beatdown inducing metalcore band, there is a tendency to get hit over the head with a few too many breakdowns. This is a problem here, but not as bad as with a band like, say, Emmure, who seem to write songs consisting only of open chord breakdowns. Gideon also don't fall into the trap of trying to make each breakdown heavier than the next. Yes, there are some moments where they try to go full-on gargantuan, but many times you'll find yourself treated to more traditional hardcore flavored slabs of heaviness.

In a genre that doesn't have a whole lot of potential variety to begin with, Gideon actually does a pretty solid job at making an effort to give genre fiends exactly what they're searching for--a succinct album with little filler (sorry, but "Milestone" just feel out of place and wasting time), plenty of meat, aggression to spare, and no obvious laziness in the songwriting department. There's not much more you can ask for from a modern metalcore band.

Ethereal Architect - Monolith Album Review

Ethereal Architect gave us their self-released debut album Dissension way back in 2007. At that time, despite some of the album's shortcomings, I saw a lot of promise. Now that the band has had five years to put together their sophomore follow-up, again a self-released effort, have they found a way to extract their potential and grow as a band? Well… maybe…

What's striking to me is that Monolith is very similar to Dissension. The band have not made a departure from their progressive metal roots, but by staying so close to what they've already done I feel like the five year wait was overlong. This could have been released a year after their debut, or even a week after, as it is so similar. This isn't necessarily a huge detraction, but it does lead to some slight disappointment, especially after such a lengthy wait.

Barring this lack of progression, you'll still find a very solid and well put together progressive metal album with shades of power metal and solos a-plenty. This time around some of the power metal leanings are a bit more pronounced, mostly in the progressions of some of the songs. Take "Oceans," for example, and follow its patterns of acoustic guitars setting the stage (and providing some accentuating touches throughout), the very melodic structure of the song, and the concluding soloing fadeout into falling rain. These are all very power metal oriented traits, but executed with a bit of a prog metal feel.

As mentioned in my review of Dissension, Ethereal Architect's David Glass rips out riffs and solos galore, and that has not changed one bit here. There are still many meaty riffs to be found, some with a definite thrash metal bend, but most staying in the traditional metal realms, while the solos continue to be flashy, but not to the point of feeling excessive or gratuitous. There is even a bit of flamenco in "Mercury" which caught me a bit off guard. It's the small flourishes like this and the choral vocals at the beginning of "Revolutions" that show the band thinking about pushing their boundaries, but not wanting to stray too far from what they know.

Adam Contreras is still solid vocally, but does try to push his range a bit more this time around, sometimes feeling a tad strained when reaching for the higher notes. This doesn't happen often and he drives the songs forward when he needs to, but also disappears at the right times to let the rest of the band strut their stuff.

At the end of the day, Ethereal Architect are a cut above the majority of the unsigned bands out there. They've polished their production, they've created interesting songs, they're extremely solid musicians, and they've stuck with it for more than half a decade (which is longer than most flash-in-the-pan bands you see today). Hopefully Ethereal Architect get their big break soon. They're ready for it.

Vampires Everywhere! - Hellbound and Heartless Album Review

Some days I wonder what it must be like to be a poor, depressed, unliked teenager in today's high school environment. I'm assuming it must be light years worse than when I was in high school (which is the late 90's if you're curious). No doubt when Rachel won't talk to Billy because he's weird it must be so much tougher on Billy today than 15 years ago, and when you don't get a date to the prom it must be even more devastating than it used to be. At least I'm assuming things must be worse based solely on the popularity of bullshit bands like Vampires Everywhere being popular with the teenage, depressed, melodramatic, sad crowd. I can't imagine how bad things must be getting that kids would actually choose to lock themselves in their room, cover themselves in faux-goth makeup, and listen to this contrived Marilyn Manson rip-off crap.

The more I listen to this album, the more I imagine this is the soundtrack that spoiled suburban kids probably use to feel "edgy" or to piss off their anesthesiologist mom and VP of sales dad while complaining about how hard they have it living in a gated community where they have nothing better to do than listen to Hellbound and Heartless in their room on their parents' hand-me-down "old" Bose stereo. It doesn't go nearly loud enough to play crystal clearly through the door of his own private bathroom. Life is so hard!

Even disconnecting myself from that imagery, I can't disconnect from the fact that this is nothing more than a deliberate, cheap, rip-off of what Marilyn Manson did 15 years ago. The pseudo-satanic song titles and anti-government, anti-cool-kids, anti-popularity, anti-anything lyrics? Done better. The industrialized metal riffs? Done twice as good before the members of this band could even contemplate playing instruments. Hell, if you can listen to "Kiss of Death" once through and tell me it's not 100% derivative of Manson (if not outright copied), I will slap you in the face, kick you in shins and call you a filthy liar.

Vampires Everywhere steal absolutely everything from the Manson playbook; this includes their look (which is as pathetic as it is contrived) as well as going for a industrial-goth cover song to include on their album. In this case, they rape "Rape Me" from Nirvana. Do we need to keep going? If you don't get the picture by now that you'd be doing yourself a disservice by even thinking about turning your ear towards this band then, frankly, you must have a truly horrible life and I honestly feel sorry for you.

Ok… one last appeal to anyone on the fence, especially if you're a teenager with a still developing musical palette… I'm going to be as blunt as I can…

This. Album. Is. Awful.

Is that clear enough? I really hope so. If not, I fear for today's youth.

Collaboration in the Cloud Book Review

Everyone is talking about "the cloud," but what is it really and how does it apply to today's IT landscape. And how does it make things better? How does it facilitate collaboration? If you haven't at least talked about how the cloud could fit into your IT organization, you're falling more behind than you should be.

It's pretty well established that collaboration is of utmost importance in today's businesses where teamwork is key and making collaboration as efficient and friction-free as possible. The biggest tool that is aiding collaboration is the concept of the cloud and, from it, the proliferation of social that it enables.

This book, while presenting a superb overview of the topics in its title, doesn't really bring anything paradigm shifting to the table. What it does is gather into one book all of the disparate topics that are somehow related to cloud revolution.

If you're a new IT professional or someone with an inkling about what you or your company can do technologically to help become more social and collaborative, this is a perfect starting point for you. Experienced IT professionals should already have this all filed away in your brain's knowledge locker by now.

If interested, you can download the book in pdf form here.

View all of my Goodreads reviews

Lions Lions - To Carve Our Names Album Review

The members of Lions Lions certainly have plenty of experience, already having released one album and a couple of EPs together and then having individually been a part of Vanna, Therefore I Am, The Jonah Veil, and A Loss for Words. Their full length debut in 2009, From What We Believe, gave us an inkling of what the band was capable of, but seemed unpolished and a bit rough around the edges. The pacing didn’t feel quite right. The vocals were a bit overproduced. There were some subpar tracks. But you also had some stellar songs, catchy choruses, and the building blocks needed for a breakout album.

Three years later they've offered up To Carve Our Names, but they have yet to fully rectify the issues from their debut and have actually introduced a few more elements that are holding the band back. It's clear that they are striving to fit into the current post-hardcore landscape, yet somehow want to stand out from everyone else. What they don't realize is that to stand out they need to eschew the conventions of the genre that they end up so heavily relying upon. Their Beloved-lite mixed with Saosin approach is still the bedrock that every song is built upon, but what they build on top of it isn't always making use of the best materials.

There don't appear to be any real systemic problems with the album (other than being slightly bland overall). Lions Lions know how to create a solid post-hardcore song that is competent and well put together. However, at times they try to put some flourishes into their songs that simply don't work. There's the occasional metalcore breakdown tossed into a song, along with some harsh vocals, seemingly only to attempt to show they can be heavy. It doesn't suit them all that well, but isn't as horrible as some straight-up metalcore bands. Then there's the slight pushing of the clean vocals into higher ranges, which comes off as unnecessarily forced and somewhat uncomfortable. There's no reason to go there. And the acoustic track? I know they've done acoustic numbers before, but it just doesn't fit. At least it's at the end of the album so you can skip it.

With all that being said, there is still that glimmer of promise shining through most of the songs, which might make the frustrating moments seem all that more frustrating. Lions Lions seem capable of much more than what they've created thus far. I'm hesitant to say that they'll reach their potential in the future as they seem to be floating a bit aimlessly at the moment, but I'll try to be optimistic and believe they'll get things clicking the next time around.

Always Engaged: My Natural State

In recent weeks I've had a few conversations with both friends and coworkers about the enjoyment of peace, quiet, and the calm that comes from doing nothing. The genesis of these conversations were rooted around my seeming inability to be, in any way, not in motion or unengaged. I always find myself amazed with everyone's ability to simply... be. Whereas my natural state of existence is to be... doing something.

Looking at my average day, there's not a moment that I'm not plugged, doing something, listening to something, reading something, talking to someone, doing work, doing chores, doing something. If I try to sit for just a moment, I'm overcome with a myriad of thoughts about what I could be doing. "Stop sitting there and watching the grass grow, Rick. You still haven't finished that book you started and you could probably go for a run or maybe you should go check out the latest episode of Bob's Burgers, but then again you haven't done this quarter's bookwork for the LLC and you might want to send those few follow up emails you were getting around to...." is all my constantly churning brain can think about when I'm "doing nothing."

For me it's hard to imagine sitting still when there's so much to do and so many ways to multi-task! Taking the dog for a walk? Well, I'll throw on some podcasts I've been meaning to listen to. Some new post-rock albums to listen to? Might as well crack a book while I'm listening. Hockey game on tv? I'll brew some homemade beer while I'm watching.

This is my mindset. And I love it. I enjoy constantly being engaged. If there were ever a poster-child for the always-connected, always-on, always-multi-tasking generation... I'm it! I know it frustrates my wife to some degree since I'm always in a state of motion and can't sit still, but downtime equals wasted time in my head. There's simply so much to do, so much to take in, and so much I can experience every day that I can't help but feel like I need to cram as much in as possible. We've only got so many days on this planet, right? And there's no do-overs last time I checked. So I want to take in as much as I can every day.

And why am I writing this? Because I finished putting my laundry away, wrapped up the latest Bugle podcast, walked the dog, and didn't know what to do next. I hadn't blogged in a while, so figured I'd do that. Now I'm off to hit up the post office to mail some stuff and then I'll grab a book and read on the deck while it is still bearable outside. And then I have the whole day ahead of me. Let's do this!

The First 10 Pounds Were Easy...

It was a few months back that I set a goal to myself to drop 25 pounds. Over this past winter, I found myself weighing the most I ever have in my life (around 225 lbs), was feeling frustrated when I exercised, and had stopped even trying to manage what I eat. It wasn't a good combination. I was out of shape, I knew it, and it pissed me off. So I told myself I'd change. Unfortunately just telling myself to lose weight didn't work. Instead I found out I actually had to change my habits.

Once I actually got in the mindset to do something about the round shape I was taking, I decided I needed to track my weight closely and do so over time. To do this I bought a good scale that measures to the 1/5 of a pound accurately and found a good weight tracking app for my phone. I also made a commitment to myself that I'd at least try to stick with things for a while before outright giving up.

I started at 224.6 pounds. It was ugly. I felt horrible. I struggled to run much more than a mile. I was hungry. I just wanted to quit. However, I didn't. Since I was being tracked and held responsible, I was motivated to try, and try I did. Slowly but surely, I saw some of the weight coming off. I'd fluctuate back up every now and again, but the overall progress was downward. I was happy! It was working!

...that is, until it wasn't. As you can see from the graph, things started to level out and stay leveled out. I found that I started feeling like I deserved rewards for good workout. I justified eating a bag of Oreos or an entire pizza by knowing I'd just run a bit more tomorrow. But eventually I couldn't exercise enough to offset my diet that had reset to where it was before I started this project, which is to say in a really bad place.

So I'm stuck and frustrated. 2/5's of the way to my goal and behind schedule I am tempted to give up. I'm not horribly out of shape. I exercise 5-6 days a week and keep active, but my diet is what's killing me. I have no willpower and I love food that's terrible for me. How could I get past this seemingly impenetrable barrier?

Go public.

So here I am, admitting I suck at my diet, but also noting that I have made some effort. My exercise regiment is pretty solid. I feel more in shape. However, my diet has gotten worse the better my exercise program has gotten. 215 pounds is less than 224.6 pounds, but it's still not 200 pounds. My new goal is to be able to break this plateau, work hard, manage my diet, and check back in a few months down the line and say I'm at 200 pounds, or at least closer to it than now.

Let's meet back here in a couple months.