Friday, June 21, 2002

Encounters with Bizarro World

First of all, this site has had many new additions. I've added my writings page. I have also made a bootleg list for all you traders out there who want to get in touch with me. I've also just changed some random stuff here and there in the site. Now onto more interesting things.

Ok, I think yesterday I had a small glimpse of what it must be like to live in BizarroWorld. Ok, get this, I ordered the cd "Halfway Down the Sky" by Splender off of the internet a week ago from half.com. I heard them while listening to XROXX internet radio while at work so I thought I'd check them out because I liked their sound. They were kind of a pop rock type of band along the lines of Lifehouse or The Calling. I needed something mellow to add to my collection so I ordered it (and it was good and cheap). Anyways, back to yesterday. I came home to see a package had come for me in the mail and knew it was my Splender cd so I opened it up and took it downstairs to listen to while I did some reading (I'm just finishing up The Fellowship of the Ring. I thought I'd reread it again after seeing the movie in the theater and waiting for it to come out on DVD). I popped it in my cd player and laid down on my bed to get comfy and relaxed. Now this must have been when I drifted into BizarroWorld. I hit the play button.

What came out of the speakers scared me. The first song started out with what sounded like Michael Jackson vocals and music. I was distressed but thought that maybe Splender was just a fan and wanted to start with a clip of Michael Jackson or something. I'll give it a minute. Turns out that the entire first song is a Michael Jackson song. The next song comes on and it is another Michael Jackson song. I flip out and scan through all the tracks--THEY'RE ALL MICHAEL JACKSON! What did I do to bring this upon me. I take the cd out of my cd player and examine it very closely. It is the actual silver-pressed retail Splender cd but for some reason Michael Jackson's "History disc 2" is what was on the cd (I checked it against cddb just to make sure). It seems that either Columbia Records made some wacky mistake when they were pressing cds in their factory or else God decided he wanted to play a cruel joke on me. So now I have the Splender cd I wanted sitting right on my desk (I'm looking at it right now) but I can't play it without flipping out and killing something (in case you didn't know I hate everything Michael Jackson except for the songs "Thriller", "Bad", and "Beat It" and those songs I only loosely enjoy). Since I had no clue what to do with that bastard-child of a cd, I just popped in Coal Chamber and stared at it some more. Hopefully, the knowledge that I actually have a Michael Jackson cd ("History disc 2" nonetheless, probably his worst cd ever) sitting on my desk won't make me go crazy. I don't know, though, it keeps looking at me funny and whispering to me to play it. I don't know how long I'll be able to last......

Now just a few moments ago I had a run in with BizarroWorld once again. I was hanging out in the cube of one of my co-workers when he noticed that he had two messages on his voicemail. As he listened to them he looked oddly at me and another co-worker there and then hung up the phone. We asked him what it was and this is where we step into BizarroWorld. The messages were both just blank messages from December 24th, 2001. Hmmm...time traveling phone messages of blank space? Why yes, this is odd. We decided that it was Justin's job to save Christmas...of 2001. Since it is now 2002 we have been hard at work trying to build a time machine from mountain dew cans, banana peels, squeek's mom, punk cds, and Kwik Trip hot dogs. I'll keep you updated on our progress. Hopefully our spectacular, time-traversing invention will get us slashdotted. I would then be able to die a happy man.

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