George Carlin

I know every blogger and news outlet on the planet is talking about it, but I thought I'd mention the passing of George Carlin as well. I'm not going to go on about what a great comedian he was (because if you don't think so, you simply lack a sense of humor), but wanted to acknowledge his passing.

It's a little weird reading about his death considering that I was watching excerpts of one of his HBO specials on my Zune while I was in Chicago last week. Since it was the last exposure I had to him before his death, it'll always be a memory I'll remember. I had ran down past Navy Pier and was running along the lake when I found a nice, grassy area to sit down and chill for a while. I sat and watched some of the stand up comedy I had on my Zune while enjoying the breeze and doing some people watching.

The last bit that I watched before flipping some tunes back on and running back to the hotel was Carlin. He was doing a piece on farting on a bus or other form of public transportation. It wasn't just raunchy humor, but a reflection of how people actually approach the situation (at least it's close to how I would). The bit comes down to him explaining that you need to take a test fart at about 10-15% strength to see what kind of fart it is. It was really quite hilarious, and will always be the comedic bit I remember when his name is mentioned. Most people think of his 7 words you can't say on TV bit (which was giggle-rific for its time), but I'll always have the fart bit.

A great comedian has passed today. It's not often you find someone as interesting or truly funny as Carlin in today's comedic environment. Instead we're bombarded by the likes of Dane Cook and George Lopez and the no-talent hacks of SNL. Comparing Carlin to today's big names is quite the eye opener. They just don't make them like they used to...

Comcast is Hilarious!

I know that Comcast is blogged about all the time for having terrible service, practicing somewhat shady business techniques, downgrading television signals, and all sorts of other nefarious deeds. I'm not going to do that. I'm here to simply tell you about the hilarity that is Comcast's chat service.

I used their online chat service today to cancel an appointment at my house since our internet, which was down all of Saturday, magically decided to work at some point during the day yesterday. This has happened in the past and we've had multiple techs come out to diagnose what is wrong only to find everything in tip top shape. It's a little disconcerting that their service goes up and down whenever it feels like it with no explanation from Comcast and no discernible reason why it happens, just that it does.

But anyways, I'm getting beside the point. I needed to cancel the appointment I had today and I thought that instead of wasting 20-30 minutes of my time on my cell phone, blowing precious daytime minutes to do it, I'd use the chat option they offer. Heck, I just needed to cancel an appointment so it couldn't take that long, right? Well, it was probably quicker than the phone, but it still took nearly 15 minutes. It was worth it, though, for some of the comedy gold that's included in the transcript below.

Beyond the usual grammar and spelling mistakes (which I don't understand how they can be made since I'd assume they'd use macros for a lot of this stuff) there is the blatant "God bless", the question about how I'd rate this CSR, and the constant overabundance of overbearing positivity. It's surreal. Anyhow, read for yourself and enjoy.

Earl Stanley > Hello Rick_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Earl Stanley. Please give me one moment to review your information.

Earl Stanley > I am happy to have the chance to assist you with your concern. How are you today?

Rick_ > fine

Rick_ > i need to cancel a service appointment that was scheduled for this evening.

Earl Stanley > Great to hear that you are doing fine, Rick.

Earl Stanley > It would be my pleasure to help you today.

Earl Stanley > May I have your account number and the last 4 digits of your SSN please so that I can pull up your account?

Rick_ > i don't have my account number with me. last 4 of SSN are XXXX

Earl Stanley > That would be alright.

Earl Stanley > Thank you. Allow me a few moment to look at your account information.

Earl Stanley > Rick, thank you for waiting patiently.

Earl Stanley > I will now process your request.

Rick_ > thanks

Earl Stanley > My pleasure. May I ask why you wanted to cancel the appointment?

Rick_ > our internet is back up.

Earl Stanley > Alright. Wonderful to hear that.

Earl Stanley > I will now complete your request.

Earl Stanley > Please stay with me.

Earl Stanley > I have successfully processed your request, Rick. Your reference number for this is XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX. I am so happy to have assisted you todat.

Earl Stanley > Aside from this, do you have other concerns that I can assist you today?

Rick_ > nope. thanks.

Earl Stanley > If that is all I can do for you, enjoy the rest of the day and thank you for choosing Comcast. Be well and God bless you!

Earl Stanley > By the way, there is a three-question survey after this chat. I would appreciate it if you take time to provide us feedback regarding how I assisted you today. Should I get a good one from you?

Rick_ > potentially

Earl Stanley > I appreciate that form you.

Earl Stanley > Bye now and take care. Enjoy with the service. smile

Earl Stanley > Analyst has closed chat and left the room

My New Favorite Website

Head on over to The Daily Batman for a few good laughs. I didn't know there were so many great pictures of the dark knight floating around out on the internets. Considering he's my favorite superhero, flipping through the archives of TDB is an awesome way for me to waste time.

On a related note, for anyone interested in reading Batman at his most bat-shit insane, make sure to stop by your local comic shop and pick up the All-Star Batman series written by Frank Miller. It doesn't get much better. Or if you're comic-shop-aphobic, like I know many comic fans who don't want other people to know they're comic fans can be, pre-order the first hardcover collection from Amazon.

Edit: Looks like there aren't any archives yet. This is a freshly new site, from what I can tell. Which means there's plenty of awesome batasticness to come!

It's Not April Yet, Is It?

Today's WTF story: Woman sits on toilet for 2 years. Amazing. She probably should have tried eating some more fiber.

It's a sad story, true, but on the bright side I'm pretty sure she could apply for a Guinness World Record. Although, that might not be the best idea because I can see idiots trying to eventually break that record...

Truthism

Truthism.com. From this amazing site you'll find all sorts of "true" gems of information... such as some of my favorites below:

"1.) The North Pole and the South Pole do not exist. In their place are polar openings that lead into Inner Earth.

2.) Anyone en route to a polar opening is eventually stopped by Outer Earth guardsmen."

"These humans who are in Earth's secret societies are merely pseudo-elites. On the other hand, the Reptilians are the ruling elite because they are at the very top of Earth's control pyramid."

"A complete science would place astral planes, parallel dimensions, synchronicities, consciousness, etheric fields, telepathy, vital energies, emotional energies, volition, hyperdimensional existence and timeloops all under the same framework. At present, these appear to be phenomena distinct from science, but that is because science as we know it is incomplete."

"Science = Faith"

Seriously, this site is one of the funniest I've read in ages.

Some Yummy Gay Cat Love

I made this for a conversation thread over at Decoy Music that has managed to somehow combine the topics of homosexuality, lolcats, and marriage. I may just have made myself LOL with this one.