Monday, February 10, 2003

Siphoning Creativity

First, a quick update on my weekend. Friday was a pretty laid back day as I just went to work, went to class, and slept most of the day. That night I went to see The Ring with Theresa since she had never seen it (or even heard of it, for that matter, since she’s been in Ireland all last semester). It scared the crap out of her which was good to know. The rest of the night I pretty much just chilled at Kristin’s place.

Saturday was a pretty fun day. I spent almost the entire day shopping with Yen. That girl is one shop-o-holic and I was charged with the role of mommy for the day because she didn’t want to spend any money but has a hard time holding herself back. I managed to keep her in check most of the day. I, on the other hand, bought altogether too much stuff. I got a couple new cds, the most interesting being the new disc by My Chemical Romance. They’re very unique in that they are like pop-punk gone hardcore. I really enjoyed their disc and looked forward to seeing them with Finch and The Used next week, but the show was unfortunately sold out. Booooo. I also got myself some new clothes at Hot Topic and some other random odds and ends. The rest of the night was spent playing Tekken 4 and watching tv with Nikki and Karl and Kristin.

Sunday I basically lounged around all morning and did a little homework in the afternoon before napping. Later I cooked some pork chops up, since I’ve wanted some good meat to eat for a while now, and then went to volleyball where we won quite easily. It sometimes gets annoying playing crappy teams where if you just return the ball to their side then they’re screwed. Eh.

Sunday night I also came to a very profound conclusion about myself as of late. I seem to have lost all my creative energy. I haven’t written any poetry in a long time, and I usually write all the time, even if most of it never sees the poems page of my site. I have also been a lot more lackluster in my random thought entries and not doing it as often, and when I do do it, it seems like I’m only recounting events instead of writing about how I feel and bigger issues. My conversations with most people lately also seem to have lost their depth and instead are filled with recounting events and telling stories. Also now when confronted with Valentine’s Day, I don’t feel very creative in what I’m doing. I know I probably could do something way better, but I seem to have lost that creative drive, but hopefully only for the moment. Maybe I’m just in a slump.

In noticing that I seem less creative, I have also found out that I have taken on a very observational attitude as of late. In place of my stifling creativity I have focused so much more energy on observation. My love of movies and listening to music has been heightened. I take stock of events around me and with more clarity than I usually would. I want to read more than I want to write, and what I have read I’ve taken to heart more than I usually would. I wonder why, right now, that I am leaning more in an observatory direction than creative? Maybe I’m just stressed out or have less time right now. I really don’t know, but I do know it is definitely frustrating to have to force myself to be creative instead of it flowing naturally.

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