Wednesday, April 30, 2003

Talk About Suckage

So last night they were having a “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” competition at O’Connell’s on the CSB campus. Jeff was going to be in it so he told me I should go watch. It sounded like a good idea at the time. I could watch Jeff win some money or prizes or some crap. Cool, I’d be there. I even managed to tow Kristin along to watch.

We get there and sign up our names for a drawing (well, actually I signed both of our names up). We saw Jeff there and about 10 other people. It turns out that all the people there, except for like 3 were the contestants for the competition. The show then got started at like 8 pm and there were still no more than 10 people in the crowd. Unbelievable. They eventually picked both Kristin and I to go up to compete in the fastest fingers questions. Jeff and I both eventually made it up to the hot seat. I think he got $15 cash and I got a free drink (which I gave to Kristin since I didn’t dig any of the weird espresso/latte/blended/crap drinks that they had there).

The whole show was a sham and waste of our time, but we couldn’t get out of there fast enough because Kristin was still in the group of people that could go up to the hot seat. She eventually quit trying and answered every fastest fingers question with “poop”. That was one of the best things to come out of the night, besides Jeff’s off-the-cuff and crude comments while in the hot seat. Oh yeah, leaving was fun too. While I was there, however, I did do something productive. I managed to create a list of things that sucked less than that show. I would like to share that with you now.

Things that suck less than last night’s “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” show:
1. An industrial strength shop vac
2. A high powered toilet
3. A blow dryer set on “reverse”
4. A ship-swallowing whirlpool
5. A black hole
6. The Lifetime Channel
7. Canada
8. Having my arm ripped off by a very strong man and then being beat to death with it
9. My face spontaneously combusting
10. Julia Roberts

Number 10 was a little bit of a stretch, but I think she sucks a little bit less than last night’s Millionaire thing. I actually started by trying to write a list of things that sucked more to try to stay positive, but when my sheet was still blank after 5 minutes I decided to think of things that then sucked less.

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