Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Must... Find... Brains...

Sausage pizza. You'd think it couldn't hurt you. You probably think it's just a harmless food. Well, you're totally wrong. Sausage pizza is a definite threat to the top of your palette if you eat it right after it comes out of the oven. As yummy as it might taste, the searing heat exuded by the tomato sauce will easily scald the skin on the top of your mouth causing you to run around the kitchen waving your hand in front of your mouth (like that's going to do any good) looking for something cool to drink to sooth your burning mouth. Of course, by the time you find anything to drink, the pizza sauce has already had plenty of time to burn all of the skin in your mouth leaving you scraping it off with your tongue for the next 20 minutes.

Since my mouth is completely burnt from that damn pizza, I couldn't really drink too much coffee this morning because it burns my mouth when I drink it and when it gets cool enough to not hurt my mouth it's too cold to taste good. So I'm pretty much screwed for my usual ingestion of caffeine for the morning. I did bring a diet cola in to attempt to offset the missing coffee caffeine, but I don't think it'll help.

Now compound my lack of caffeine with not really being able to sleep last night and you have a recipe for instant zombie. I don't know why I couldn't sleep last night, but for some reason when I closed my eyes I simply continued to lie there with my eyes closed instead of being whisked off to a magical land of midgets and dragons.

So being as tired and unenergized as I am, all I can think about is somehow getting caffeine into my system, and barring that, I can turn to my co-workers brains. There's got to be caffeine in the human brain, right? Mmm..... must eat brains......

CO-WORKER: So have you finished the help text yet?

ME: Help... text.... need.... brains....

CO-WORKER: Well, yes, it was a little rudimentary and could use some fleshing out.

ME: Fleshing.... out..... yummy..... flesh.... breakfast.....

CO-WORKER: Umm.... why are you reaching for my face? Is there some jelly from my donut still on me?

ME: Jelly..... donut..... brains....

CO-WORKER: Oh my God! Stop it, my face! That hurts! I think this breaks one of our company policies!

*Rip*

ME: *Crunch crunch* Yummy...... brains..... taste..... like..... meatloaf.....

Hmmm..... ok, maybe I'm not quite that zombie-ish this morning, but I sure do feel like I'm dragging and can't get energized. It sure doesn't help that it's overcast and dark out, either.

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