Thursday, November 25, 2004


I hope that you are all enjoying a wonderful thanksgiving. We had lunch with my extended family on the Gebhardt side and now for the rest of the day it's just my brothers and parents hanging out before my grandma from the Meyer side comes over to visit for supper. Thanksgiving for the last few years has just been my direct family staying at home and being together, but this year we decided to go to the Gebhardt thanksgiving lunch. I always look forward to just being with my family for an entire day, but whatever.

Thanksgiving is always an odd time. During this day I am constantly thinking about how much better I have it than so many other people. It puts a lot of the problems I have into perspective and helps me to realize some of my selfish habits that I would like to change. In the past many of my selfish habits revolved around my want for material things. With the day after thanksgiving being one of the largest shopping days of the year, if not the largest I'm often overcome with my consumeristic nature. For the last four or five years my brothers and I have went to Best Buy at like 4 in the morning on the day after thanksgiving to load up on good deals. This year, I really have no desire to do that. In fact, I have no real desires for material things at all this year. I find I feel almost anti-consumerism.

I've realized that material things don't mean as much as I used to think they did. Sure it was nice to be going out to buy new technological gadgets, video games, movies, and whatever else was appealing, but this year I just don't want any of that stuff. I have a good enough life. I have more than so many people. I have more than I need in most cases, so why do I need more stuff?

This anti-"stuff" sentiment has been ingrained into my heart for a few months now, probably since our basement was flooded. Knowing that we could have lost everything that we had in our basement made me rethink my views on all of the stuff I own. Frankly, I don't need all the junk I have to live a good life and since then I've actually gone through a lot of my crap and have been selling many of the things I don't use on ebay and getting together a pile of clothes and things to give to charity. Why should I hoarde so much for myself when there's so many people just scraping to get by? What makes me so special that I should have so many things that I don't even use and other people don't even have the things they need? Nothing. I'm no better than the next guy, so why not spread the wealth of what I have to those that need it?

Oddly enough, even though I feel I have overcome my consumeristic nature, I still feel a longing for something. I was hoping that once I overcame my longing for "things" that I wouldn't have that aching need anymore, but somehow it's still with me. What is it that I want now? If you know, please tell me because I'm having a hard time figuring out what it is myself.

Even though I am filled with a new sense of longing, I am still thankful for so many things. I have a job, a roof over my head, food on my plate, a great family to live with, and an extrordinary girlfriend. What more could anyone ask for? I have it so unbelievably good that I should have no right to complain about anything. I'm not scraping by just trying to find enough money to eat. I'm not without a home. I'm healthy and not fighting to stay alive. I have it good.

If I have it so good, though, then why do I feel like I want something more?

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