It’s been almost three years since I’ve been to a dentist. It doesn’t seem like it’s been that long, but when I actually thought about it, sure enough, it’s been almost that long. I guess I really haven’t noticed because my mouth hasn’t experienced any unbearable, prolonged pain in the last three years. That’s good, don’t get me wrong, but I probably should have visited the dentist at least once in that time if not at least just for a regular cleaning.
Thoughts of dentistry have recently arisen in my thoughts with the onset of the availability of free pop at work. No longer do we have to buy every can or 20 oz. or liter or whatever that we want, but instead we can just mosey on over to the fridge and grab a can of our favorite refreshment at no charge to me. Of course energy drinks aren’t stocked, but I’ll gladly give up drinking my daily Monster in favor of having a free Diet Coke or two.
With all of this free pop, I can feel my teeth already starting to scream out at me that I’m doing them wrong. The elevated influx of cola acids is definitely not going to strengthen my tooth enamel, but will obviously do the opposite. Considering I’ve never had a cavity, I’m not as leery as someone whose mouth is a gold repository might be, but I’m still concerned that now my teeth might be a little more susceptible to harm.
Armed with that knowledge and concern, common sense would see me making an appointment with a local dentist, one which ironically has an office right next door to where I work. Common sense would be wrong. I don’t like dentists.
Every time I go to the dentist, I start out with my mouth feeling fine and by the time he’s done it’s in total agony from all of the pushing, prodding, pulling, and pinching that his assistants do to the insides of my mouth in the name of cleanliness. And for the next couple of days, my jaw will feel like I started a fight with ultimate fighter and decided not to defend myself.
On top of the addition of pop (free pop!) to the office, one of my co-workers has always had a candy dish in her office and I’ve found myself visiting that a lot lately as well, which is doubly bad since it hurts my teeth and contributes to my lack of physical fitness. I need to be especially careful with what I eat now because it’s winter time and since I don’t have a gym membership yet, I don’t have many options for exercise other than running, which I refuse to do when it’s glass cutter nipples cold out.
I guess I could suck it up and just go next door and visit the dentist, but I just wish they could clean my teeth and look around without being so obnoxious about it and letting me leave in a buttload of pain. Hasn’t technology made it possible to do a good teeth cleaning without it feeling like some form of ancient Mongolian jaw torture?
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