Tuesday, January 24, 2006


There are some things in this world that, for whatever reason, make you want to drop-kick a baby into a burning building, eat a living kitten, and impale yourself with a steak knife. I had never seen such a thing... until today. Watching Kevin Federline rock out to his own single is something to behold.

It is amazing for so many reasons. First, "PopoZao" is easily one of the worst songs created by man--ever. It is worse than a tag-team songwriting effort by the combined forces of the Spice Girls, Cyndi Lauper, Don Johnson, and Winger. Your ears will bleed upon hearing it.

Second, it just doesn't feel right to see K-Fed rocking out along to his own single. Does he not realize the utter atrocity he has unleashed upon humanity. I can see it now. Hundreds of high school kids, all just on the cusp of being accepted into the popular crowd, will attempt to reach that elusive next level of "coolness" by listening to the hot, new single of the week. Unluckily, and also maybe because these kids have taste, said kids don't have a very robust knowledge of what consitutes "listenable" when it comes to music.

Because of this deficiency they will unwittingly buy K-Fed's cd, which will lead to them eventually playing it while in the presence of bonafide cool kids... and we all know what happens from this point on. That's right, they'll never be cool, won't get asked to the prom (or get turned down by every girl they ask except for their class' Kathy lookalike), will end up going to community college, getting a crappy degree, crappy wife, live in a trailer, and hate their life.

So as you can see, K-Fed is about to ruin the lives of countless youths. That bastard.

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