Sunday, April 06, 2003

Food Theft at a Private Catholic College

Some times I have to wonder about how smart college students actually are. More and more I come to realize how stupid most of the people who go to the combined campuses of St. John’s and St. Benedict’s really are. There’s always the massive drinking binges, the stupid stunts and pranks pulled on campus, and freshman stupidity, but now there has been a new precedent set for idiocy. Not only was this act idiotic, but it was also mean, openly deviant, and just wrong. This act is theft. Sure, theft happens all the time all over the place, but his act was different than any normal theft. There wasn’t a stereo stolen, or laundry ripped off, or a bike ridden away with, but instead our freezer was emptied of its food.

WHO STEALS FOOD??? We’re on a private college campus so it’s not like anyone is starving and needs the food. Besides, if they needed food, we have food boxes in the lounge for Lent. This is the season where we are supposed to be giving food to the less fortunate, not stealing from your neighbors. I had a box of pizzas, a box of egg rolls, and a box of philly steak sandwiches all taken. My roommate, Chen, also had food stolen in all of the food he had on our kitchen table. I really can’t figure out why someone would want to take our groceries. I simply wanted to cry because of the absurdity of the whole thing. It is so stupid to steal your neighbor’s groceries.

How am I supposed to guard against this? Our refrigerator is right by our door, which made this crime pretty easy, so how do I stop it from happening again? Do we have to lock our doors even while we are here? Must we alienate all our guests in order to protect our food? This should not be happening on a campus such as ours. Do I have to put a padlock on our freezer door? But then who’s to say they wouldn’t raid the fridge and cabinets? Should I put locks on all of them? Do we need to lock everything up in order to keep what is ours in our possession?

Because of this situation, I have decided to not buy anything more to put in our freezer. I’ll stick to the groceries that I have in my cupboard to keep these evil, thieving wastes of life from getting free food from me. No more pizzas, no more hot pockets, no more frozen goods. It’s going to be stir fry, ramen, soups, and sandwiches for the rest of the year on out. I’m sure I’ll crave what I can’t have, but at least those bastards won’t get any more free food out of me.

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