Saturday, May 10, 2003

A Fake Goodbye Session

So last night was the last Friday here for the senior classes of SJU and CSB. Today the Bennies graduate and tomorrow my fellow Johnnies, along with myself, will be walking through the Abbey for our graduation ceremony. It all seems so weird and surreal—like it really isn’t happening……but it is.

Last night we had the senior dis-orientation at the Lighthouse Ballroom here in St. Joseph. All of the seniors gather there to say their last goodbyes, socialize, dance, and most importantly—get really drunk. I did a good amount of the first two, but left the last two untouched. This was the last time I’d probably see a bunch of these people so why would I want to spend that time I’m with them drunk as a skunk? I’d rather be wholly alert and focused so that everyone I talk to knows that talking to them is important to me. Eh, I’ve learned over the last four years that my views usually aren’t shared by the majority of these two campuses.

I really thought that after last night, knowing I wouldn’t see many of the people I talked with again, that I would have some really deep thoughts to write today. Instead, I’m left a blank. It almost feels like this is fake, at least for me. Since I’ll be back next semester I really don’t feel the urgency of entering the real world and leaving the confines of college life. What is even more weird is that last year felt more like my senior year of college because everyone that I had hung out with most of my first 3 years of college graduated last year. I lost the majority of the people I hang out with. The rest of the people I hang out with this year and last year are a year or two younger than me. I never really bonded with many of the people that are my year which I think also attributes to me not feeling very emotional about this turning point in all of our lives.

The few people that I do want to keep in touch with I haven’t really said good-bye to because I know where they all will be and, for the most part, I’ll still be able to visit them and hang out with them. Maybe the whole transition from college to real world will hit home around December when my actual graduation will be approaching. Honestly, though, I don’t want to enter the real world. Working doesn’t appeal to me at all when I can continue to learn more and more in school. It’s actually my goal to eventually attend graduate school for philosophy as I would really like to further my education in that direction. Being a professor of philosophy someday wouldn’t be that bad—I think I’d actually like it. The only problem I could foresee with that plan of action would be my lack of patience when trying to show/teach people things. Maybe as I get older I’ll become more patient.

Well, today I have two banquets to go to, one for all the science majors and one for the philosophy majors. I think I’ll just make a quick stop at the science banquet as I really don’t have that many computer science people I know that I want to talk with. The philosophy banquet should be a little better. It’ll be nice to talk with the faculty before I have more classes with them next year. It won’t be so much of a “thanks, prof—you were great” thing for me as it will be more of a “so what’re we covering next year in business ethics” kind of thing. Well, whatever. You probably won’t be treated to any new thoughts until probably Tuesday as I’ll be busy graduating and then my computer will be in transit home. Until then, keep it real.

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