Monday, January 24, 2005

Hershey's Double Chocolate

Hershey, always looking to expand upon their basic chocolate candy bar that has been around since the dawn of the candy age, has a new creation out, the Hershey Double Chocolate (I actually don't know if they are new or not, but I only found out about their existence today).

I figured I'd give it a shot since they were on special at Kwik Trip while I was in paying for my gas. I like chocolate, so with double the chocolate, how could you go wrong? In most cases, you wouldn't be able to, but one out of the two Double Chocolate candy bars I got caused me more grief than it's freeness was worth.

The reason the candy bar is called "double chocolate" is because inside of the four square divisions of the chocolate bar is a resivoir of gooey chocolate creme. The combination of the the standard Hershey chocolate with the cremey chocolate center leads to a very euphoric chocolate taste that will leave your eyes rolling back in your head and your tongue hanging out of your mouth. Yeah, it really is that good.

Then, there's the downside. If you've purchased one of the double chocolate candy bars that has had one of it's four squares punctured or broken open in any way, be prepared for a sticky mess that'll be harder to clean up than a superglue rainshower.

When I opened mine up, the end cube had been broken open and all the goo of that cube had bonded itself to the outside wrapper as well as all of the other cubes. Since I wanted so badly to try Hershey's wonderful confection of chocolatey goodness, I stupidly just grabbed the broken cube and proceeded to remove it from the wrapper. What they fail to mention anywhere on the wrapper is that the gooey chocolate has the same properties as melted mozzarella cheese.

With three of my fingers and my thumb thoroughly goo-ified, I tried removing the wrapper from the candy bar to throw it away. In the process, I created a spider's web of chocolate strands, some breaking apart and getting on my desk and pants. After manipulating the mass goo strands, I stuck the broken chocolate square in my mouth and proceeded to enjoy every bit of it... except for the mess on my hands. I tried licking most of the chocolate goo off, but it was just so damn sticky, I couldn't get it all off. After a trip to the bathroom and an encounter with soap dispenser, the chocolate sticky-icky was finally off of my hands. Finally, after all of that time and effort, I had consumed one chocolate brick.

As I settled back into my cube, I realized I had just wasted about 10 minutes of my time on one stupid chocolate square. Then I saw I had three more left, so you can only imagine how I spent the next half hour.

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