People or Things I Would Not Want to Be Right Now

I would not want to be any of the following at the current time:

• Alan Schwartz: Who would want to be in his shoes after his company, Bear Stearns, just got bought out for $2 a share when they were trading at $170 a share only a year ago?
• Ben Bernanke: He's staring down a recession, a continuing mortgage problem, a weak dollar, rising oil prices, and a potential future breakdown in the commodities markets (just wait and see, in a year or two it's going to be a mini-sub-prime mess).
• In Flames: Their latest CD, A Sense of Purpose, just leaked today and it's pretty weak. They should be prepared for middling and sub-par reviews all over the place soon.
• Fans of X-Men Comic Books: Looks like Warren Ellis, Matt Fraction, and Ed Brubaker (who are all great writers) are going to attempt to make things fun again. I sense a lot of crappy ass story telling.
• A Bartender: Since it's St. Patrick's Day, everyone who needs an excuse (or doesn't) will be out drunkity drunk tonight and calling in sick to work in the morning.
• My Computer: Unfortunately when I'm overloaded at work I tend to beat the crap out of my keyboard, typing unnecessarily hard to ease frustration and batting my mouse around when I get an email I don't want to deal with. They should really get me some industrial strength computing gear.