Friday, July 19, 2002

Every Time I Turn My Back

Do you ever have one of those days that just sucks no matter what happens? Nothing seems to go right, the things that do go your way are spoiled later by something else, it seems like you’re God’s little practical joke for the day, everything just kind of sucks, and you just want to go home and cry. Well, as you can guess, yesterday just seemed to be one of those days. When looking back on it, sure a lot of things weren’t great, but it wasn’t that horrible of a day. For some reason, though, it really seemed like it. I don’t know how to explain it so if you know what I’m talking about, good. If not, then that’s too bad, I guess.

To start the day off I woke up earlier than I wanted too, which is always a bad thing, in and of itself. Waking up before your alarm is always no fun because you’re missing out on precious sleep that is supposed to be yours. I get to work a little early and start to work on my server pages that I was working on. Interestingly enough, yesterday they worked, but I needed to make some changes to them to accommodate the new format of the web pages. I load up my pages to see the differences. Lo and behold, my pages all of the sudden blow up and don’t work. They just changed the database and now my stuff wouldn’t work with it so I needed to change my previously working pages to get them to work again. Great. I talk with a few people online during the day, ask about what they had done the past couple days. The tell me, sounded like fun. This may seem like nothing, but it will be important later. One other reason I think most of the day sucked is that it was dark, rainy, and dreary the entire day. Usually I look outside every now and then to see the sun and the summer weather to remember that I have that to look forward to after work is over. Nothing to really look forward to yesterday since it was all craptacular out.

I get done with work early since I was there early and leave to go to a friend’s house. He isn’t home yet so I get my running clothes out to go for a five or six mile jog—I needed to work out my frustrations. As I’m getting changed I find that I have no socks packed in my bag. That’s swell. Screw it, I’ll just run barefoot in my shoes, what would the big deal be? I go running, and while I’m running, it starts raining on me. How lovely. It eventually quits raining and when I’m about 3 miles or so into my run I notice my feet start to hurt a little from not having any socks and my shoes being soaked. I guess the sides of my shoes were rubbing the sides of my feet a little too much, and without socks there to absorb the friction I developed some wonderfully huge blisters. I haven’t had blisters on my feet in probably a year or more. I get done running and I’m soaked, blistered, and grumpy.

I go out to eat with Karl, his family, and Julie to Victoria’s after I get all cleaned up. I wasn’t hungry so I only ate a side order of fries. This was the highlight of my day because of two funny things. I met an old school classmate who I hadn’t seen in probably 5 years, and he remembered exactly who I was even though I had a hard time remembering him. I eventually remembered who he was—Jesse Virk. He went to Hayfield for only a year, but he remembered me which made me feel great because I figure people usually won’t remember me. I’m not that memorable of a person. The other funny thing at Victoria’s is a mix-up we had with words. Our waiter, Jesse, asked Julie if she wanted soup or salad. Well, we thought he had asked if she wanted a super salad. We all thought it was quite comical. With that, the rest of the day was back downhill.

Improv practice was ok. I felt like I did a very crappy job practicing. I was off and I could tell. Let’s hope that it’s all out of my system so I can have a good performance tonight at our show. After improv I headed home and talked with a friend of mine on the phone who I hadn’t talked to in a bit. She talked just long enough, before she left for some dance, to inform me, by accident, that two of my supposed friends were doing things behind my back and trying to keep it from me. They must assume that I wouldn’t approve of what they were doing, but I’d be over it in a minute if I really would be mad (which I probably wouldn’t really be). When you try and keep it from me, it makes me feel like I’m an outsider and shows your lack of trust, friendship, and caring for me. One thing, I cannot stand is people shadily trying to do things behind my back that they think I might not approve of. Their assumptions make them look like fools and only succeed in making me unhappy with them. It also succeeds in lessening the trust I have in them. It also lessens the amount of effort I will want to make to be their friends. If this is what you were trying to succeed by keeping things from me, then way to go—you did it! Now I tell you this: I always thought we were honest with each other? What ever happened to that? What ever happened to us not being afraid to tell each other things? What other things do you not tell me? What have I ever held from you? I hope you read this and I hope to know your justifications.

Now, to top the night off, I get home at about 9:30 pm and not a soul is home. I was already furious and just wanted someone to talk to and no one could be found in our house except for our two cats, who I ended up talking to for lack of any other listeners. I found out by talking to one of my brother’s friends on the phone that my family was probably in Hayfield for the Hey Days fireworks. Sure enough, that’s where they were. They assumed I wouldn’t be home until later so they didn’t bother to tell me about them. Way to assume things guys. Well, I’ll forgive you. That just seemed to top off my night so I just went to bed and hoped that today would be a better day. That is yet to be seen….

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