Wednesday, July 17, 2002

Wisconsin Dells - Bizarro

My vacation, part two—the wacky happenings and the not-so-fun times. Let’s start with my most recent encounter with Bizzaro World. One of the days we decided to walk down the main street and look through all of the little shops that are there and see if we couldn’t find and little souvenirs to take home. We walked along for about a half an hour or an hour and get to a $3.00 or less store. Everything is less than three dollars so Clayton, Randy, and I all decide we can find some cool junk in there to take home. We go in to look around and as we’re looking at some necklaces some guy comes up to us. He’s dressed in a button up shirt that is made of playboy magazine covers, cute, and he looks to be about 20-25 years old. He looks at us and gets our attention and then he asks us to leave his store because we are only causing trouble. Hmm…last time I checked, looking at merchandise in a store was not causing trouble. We told him we were looking and he got very angry with us and told us again to leave because we were causing a lot of trouble and he didn’t want to put up with it. We decided to ignore him since he was being annoying. We continued to shop and found some random junk (a big dollar sign necklace, some goth metal bracelets and necklaces and some other random metal stuff) and decided to check out.

I set my things down on the counter and playboy shirt, dork with an attitude is actually the cashier. How wonderful. As I put my things down he proceeds to just stare at me. Then when I ask him to check me out he simply tells me no and that he called the police to have us arrested. I was pissed and told him it wasn’t funny and left without buying a thing. As we were walking down the street a cop came and got us and stopped us because we were causing a raucous in that man’s store. The playboy shirt ID’d Clayton, Randy, myself, AND Ryan (who wasn’t even in the store). He also said that we had kicked in windows and thrown merchandise around in his OTHER store down the road, which we had not even gotten to yet. After he ID’d us he just up and left telling the cop he was hungry and was going to get something to eat. What the crap? Honestly, I think the guy was stoned and didn’t know what was going on period. The cop questioned us and I told him that it wasn’t us, we hadn’t been to the store specified, it was only three of us in the store, and we were with our parents the whole time. It was fun. The cop let us go and said he wouldn’t do anything but to avoid the two shops owned by retard-boy. I want the 30 or 45 minutes of my life back that got wasted because some dude is too stupid to pick out the real people that were messing around in his store. Do I honestly look like I’m that much trouble? I guess if you were a tie-dyed t-shirt, sunglasses, a backwards baseball hat and baggy shorts you are automatically a troublemaker.

Next bad encounter in the Dells. We were going to golf at Pirate’s Cove and as we were pulling into the parking lot they have a security guy who points the traffic which way to go. One way for the mini-golfers and the other direction for people who were going to shop at the shops or eat at the restaurants. We pull in and he waves us to park in the mini-golf section but we were going to shop a little for a souvenir so we just went down the other way ignoring the traffic director because how could he know that we were only going to mini golf. As we got out of the truck he walked all the way down (leaving everyone that was coming in while he was gone to park wherever they wanted, without his supreme guidance) to us to yell at us. He wanted to know why we parked down where we did when we should have parked up in the mini golf lot because that is what we came to do. How the hell does he know what we came to do? We told him that we were going to shop quick first and we didn’t want to walk all the way down from the golf lot just to pick up a souvenir. He gave my dad a dumb look and muttered, “Well…ok, I guess, if you’re going to shop, but you should still go where I point you…” What a moron. Can they not hire anyone with half of a brain to work any job in the Dells?

These two incidences managed to bring down our vacation a little bit…actually, they didn’t bring us down, they just made me very angry and annoyed. Stupid people should not be allowed to breed, these two goons are evidence enough to support this statement. Man, I hate dumb people. It’s too bad they’re everywhere today.

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