Thursday, September 23, 2004

Let's Talk About Underwear!

I really didn't have anything to talk about today and was prepared to start rambling on about our flooded basement, comic books, or some other stupid crap, but then I started to think about boxers, courtesy of Johnny Huh. Anyhow, I know that not every male wears boxers, but I'm hoping that a majority do. I can't understand how any man could go every day wearing tighty-whitey's or boxer-briefs simply because I find them so uncomfortable, unless of course, I'm going out on a long run in which case I need that extra snugness.

When I go digging into my boxer rubbermaid tub in the morning, I don't ever really care which pair of boxers I do grab, but I always notice that I have lots of neat looking ones. There's a few pair of Scooby-Doo ones, a couple Spongebob Squarepants pair, a bunch of Christmas ones (that I do wear all year round), some with Hawaiian girls on 'em, and plenty of other colorful or themed pairs. You now know what some of my underwear looks like. Cool, huh?

Now if I wouldn't have told you what kind of boxers I have, you would never have known, now would have you? That's just what I'm getting at here. What is the point of having way cool boxers when no one but yourself is going to see them (or possibly your significant other, but I'm not going to go down that route)?

When I look at the price tags of boxers in the stores, I'm always in awe of how expensive they are. Even when you go to the ghettoest department store of them all, K-Mart, a decent pair of boxers with some type of design or defining feature on them will cost you probably $5-$10 a pair. Wow!

I've never been one to spend that kind of money on underwear that no one will ever see. No, the reason I have so many Christmas pairs of boxers is that you can get them for like a dollar a pair or less at the after Christmas sales. I've gotten many of my other pairs at times when stores were having clearance sales. I remember one time that the Target in St. Cloud was having a closeout on one brand of boxers so my roommate and myself went and bought like 20 pair--enough to last any man a good amount of time.

Now I could understand shelling out a good amount of cash for boxers if they were considerably more comfortable than another style, but to me they all wear pretty much the same, unless you have a pair of silk boxers which do feel really nice, but don't actually last very long because after washing them about five times they fall apart (at least in my experience).

Actually, what I just said doesn't even matter for the point I'm trying to make. Why buy some magnolious* boxers when no one can even see them unless you decide not to wear pants for the day? I'm still baffled. If anyone has an explanation, I would love for you to enlighten me. If not, I will continue to buy boxers when they are on clearance and assume that anyone who does differently is either certifiably insane and on leave from a mental institution buying clothes or else they are just plain stupid...... or that they're a high school aged kid who wants to be really trendy not realizing that people don't care what type of boxers you wear.

*[mag-NOH-lee-us] a slang word meaning 'great, splendid, magnificent, large'.

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