The first comes from right here in Minnesota. Our Timberwolves beloved Eddie Griffin crashed his suburban while drunk, watching porn, and playing a little too rough with his stick shift. It's amazing how the Timberwolves manage to attract so many morons to our team. Sprewell was such a bad choice to have on our team. Alien Head... err, I mean Sam Cassell was also an idiotic acquisition. Laettner back in the day was the king of dumbass-ville. Why can't we just sign decent players that don't have so much baggage and so little in the brain department?
On top of this, we also see the king of cons, Ken Lay, die. No details have been released as of yet, but I'm sure the slimy bastard made himself a sleeping pill & vodka tonic that would kill a gang of horses. Good riddance. He would have ended up with a posh life in jail anyways, not nearly as nice as how he's been living since stealing millions of dollars from honest (or at least more honest than him) Americans. They should chop off his head, put it on a pike, and mount it on Wall Street.
And to top it off, I will provide to you the choicest quote I've heard in ages and it comes from none other than my wonderful Kristin:
What're you talking about? I don't poop. I lay chocolate eggs.
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