There's always so much talk about how teenagers are terrible to raise and have no respect for authority and do nothing but cause trouble and stuff like that. I never really put much stock in that talk because I never had a rebellious teenage phase, but as I watch my brother going through it, I can easily see why people think this.
Being one of the not so popular crowd throughout most of high school instilled in me a great sense of respecting authority. Not the authority of my teachers or pricipal or anything like that, though. No, instead I respected the authority of the kids who were older than me. I knew my role and acted accordingly.
When the older kids budged in line for lunch, I let it go because they had seniority. When pushed over to the window to accomodate a larger, older kid on the bus, I looked out the window and ignored it. When I got knocked around in the halls walking to class, I righted myself and kept on walking. There was an order to things, and I knew my place.
Things changed somehow in the time I was a freshman and sophomore to my days as a junior and senior. Now that I and my fellow classmates were the big dogs, we could budge in line or move younger kids to window, or do any of the other things associated with our new stature as upperclassmen. There was a problem, however, in that no one seemed to have told all the underclassmen their place in the chain of command.
When you'd try to budge for lunch, the little bastards would push you right back out of line or bitch to any instructor walking by. If you ran into someone younger than you in the hall instead of moving along, they'd turn back and push you while at the same time tattling to a teacher. They had no respect for the natural order of things. I had played my part and lived through being on the recieving end of things, but I never reaped the benefits of my upperclassman stature. Between my grade and the grade below me, there was a change and a lack of respect ran rampant throughout the younger kids and it has forever changed how the natural pecking order in high schoool has operated at Hayfield High School ever since.
My respect for the upperclassmen transferred over to respecting my parents, my teachers, and other people with more authority than myself. Now since kids aren't put in their place by older kids, you get a generation of little punks that don't know to respect their teachers or parents. My little brother is a perfect example. He only ever cares about what he wants, no matter how it affects other people or who is telling him what he can or can't do. It doesn't matter and he'll feel fully justified in acting out because my parents didn't respond to his demand.
He does not recognize the authority that my parents command, but only selfishly looks at how his orders weren't obeyed. It riles me up that either a) I never got to exercise the ability to be a complete prick when I was younger or b) younger kids, such as my brother, don't recognize the position that a parent holds over them.
Teenage rebellion was never something I experienced. Part of me is glad, while part of me feels cheated.
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Monday, February 07, 2005
Unwritten Law - Here's to the Mourning CD Review
Does anyone want to tell me what happened? This sure isn’t the classic Unwritten Law of many years past, or even that of a scant couple of years ago. Their self titled release from 1998 was a competently done punk record that garnered a decent fan following after a few years of releasing surf punk discs to a rather small following. Four long years later they released Elva, which showed them to be moving in a more hard rock oriented direction. Thankfully it was still a pretty good listen. A year later they released Music in High Places, which was hit or miss depending upon how much you dug listening to their songs acoustically. Now in 2005, Unwritten Law have released Here’s to the Mourning, a horribly misguided album lacking the punk of their early work, missing the intimacy of Music in High Places, and making extremely bad use of the hard rock style they showcased on Elva.
From the second track of this disc (the first is an intro), you’re confronted with a band unsure of whether to stick to what they’ve done well on their last studio release or try to change what they’ve done in order to grab a bigger audience. There are a few driving hard rock songs, such as “Lost Control” and “F.I.G.H.T.,” but for the majority of the disc you’ll be subjected to a healthy chunk of cheesy pop rock in which they make use of almost every terrible rock cliché that you know.
“Get Up” gets off to a good start with some thick, meaty guitars, but once the chorus hits you’ll be rolling your eyes at the high pitched “get up, get up, get up” background vocals and the unintentionally bad melodic lead vocals. “Celebration Song” starts out much like “Get Up” with the driving guitars, but this good start is again ruined by a new wave inspired verse structure that sounds unbelievably out of place. Maybe the third time will be a charm? Well, as opposed to the previous two tracks, “Because of You” starts off very mellow in a decidedly pop-rock style complete with “oooohhh”s in the back up vocals before doing the pop-rock chorus. After three terrible songs, “Lost Control,” the fourth is one of the few decent entries on this disc—a straight ahead, simple, hard rock tune.
As for the rest of the disc, there’s a ton of even more terrible hard rock songs polluted by pop conventions. It’s sad to hear all of the good moments presented in so many of the songs as they are eventually played off and watered down by an attempt at being the next big radio friendly rock band. Take a look at their first single, “Save Me,” for example. It starts off with a melodic verse over a clean cut guitar line only to be followed by the quick paced, three chord rock out chorus, complete with sing-a-long vocals, from which you are lead into the bridge, which consists of bouncy guitars and “whoa-oh” vocals, followed shortly by an extra mellow verse, which is then topped off with a blast of the chorus and more “whoa-oh” backup vocals. This is manufactured pop rock taken straight from the template laid down by hundreds of past pop-rock bands. For an even more egregious use of crappy pop clichés, listen to “I Like the Way,” in which you get hip hop vocals and whistling among other things.
More than anything, I feel sad for these guys because any bit of respect or following they’ve garnered over the last few years from their fans is going to fly right out the window with this release. If you are one of their fans, go back and listen to Elva or their self titled release a few more times and pretend this release never happened. It’ll be for the best, trust me—manufactured radio has claimed its latest victim and went by the name Unwritten Law.
Comics and How to Get Arrested
I was reading over at Peter David's site about the latest CBLDF case where a comics retailor was arrested on two different counts--distributing obscene material to a minor and distributing material depicting nudity. Read up on the story in David's post as he describes it much better than I.
This is unbelievably stupid for more than a few reasons. The first, and biggest in my mind, is the simple idiocy of it all. A retailor is arrested for distributing a comic book that depicts a naked Picasso. He's not doing anything sexual, he is simply portrayed naked in the comic book. For distributing this story to a minor, he was arrested. Yet this same retailor can distribute to the same kid the latest issue of the Punisher where he's graphically blowing the shit out of people. It's ok for a kid to read about that, but as soon as there's a boob or a penis on the pages, you're in trouble.
The law and our governmental administrators really need to get their priorities straight. Pictures (non sexual) of a naked guy are bad. People getting shot in the face and having the shooter make smart ass remarks about it is ok. This doesn't seem right to me. And people wonder why Europeans think we're all so odd over here.
This is unbelievably stupid for more than a few reasons. The first, and biggest in my mind, is the simple idiocy of it all. A retailor is arrested for distributing a comic book that depicts a naked Picasso. He's not doing anything sexual, he is simply portrayed naked in the comic book. For distributing this story to a minor, he was arrested. Yet this same retailor can distribute to the same kid the latest issue of the Punisher where he's graphically blowing the shit out of people. It's ok for a kid to read about that, but as soon as there's a boob or a penis on the pages, you're in trouble.
The law and our governmental administrators really need to get their priorities straight. Pictures (non sexual) of a naked guy are bad. People getting shot in the face and having the shooter make smart ass remarks about it is ok. This doesn't seem right to me. And people wonder why Europeans think we're all so odd over here.
Super Bowl Commentary
I'm going to assume everyone watched the game. If you didn't... what the hell is wrong with you? Considering watching the game was some of the only relaxing time I had this weekend, I was extra critical of it entertaining me. Much of the weekend was spent rearranging stuff in our basement so we could carpet, painting my brother's room, and getting all the comics I've left just sitting around in our addition put away so we can start cramming as much stuff as we can in there. The biggest problem about carpeting a huge living room that you've been using to store stuff that's been moved out of other room's that needed to be carpeted is that you eventually have to move all of that stuff out of there to somewhere else. Anyhow, Super Bowl.
I started watching at about 5 or 5:15 just to see what they had on right before the game. About the time I turned it on they were doing some singing performance or other crap like that which didn't interest me at all so I went to grab something to drink and some snacks (Red Bull and Gummi Worms). When I got back a 15 minute military tribute had started. Is it just me, or was the whole military tribute thing unnecessary?
See, I usually try to keep my sports and my reverence for big events where lots of people died separate. If I wanted to recognize the troops of many of our nation's past wars, I'd go pop in a documentary or turn on the History channel or something of that nature. I wouldn't turn on a football game. To me using the anniversary of WWII seemed like a very transparent way of doing some type of tribute that makes it seem like we're doing the world a favor by what we did in Iraq. I'm sure it's a little bit of a better place now... I hope, but the way we went about it and how we executed our follow-up plan has felt like a really morbid joke to me, and this pre-game presentation seemed like a part of the punchline.
So after we're finished with our military propaganda... err, tribute, we get the national anthem which I thought was very well done. I like it much better when an ensemble of people sing it as opposed to a single person. It feels more professional and is less likely to be screwed up.
Next we had the coin flip, which was awesome for one reason--the coin never really flipped. The way that the kid tossed it up into the air was hilarious in that he did it in just the right way that it stayed parallel to the ground almost the entire time it was in the air.
As for the game, I thought it was decently entertaining. The first quarter was pretty boring in that neither offense could really muster much of anything, but I'd rather have that than having one team simply run away with the game. One thing that I would really liked to have seen, though, was TO just getting smashed a few times. I don't think I've ever disliked a professional athlete as much as I hate that cocky bastard. Someone should have given him a good, hard hit at the knees and really put some pressure on that ankle of his. I know it's terrible to wish injury on somebody, but he is truly a douchebomber if I've ever seen one.
The halftime show was ludicrously lame. I never really thought about how lame McCartney's songs were before the halftime show. Since we don't have cable there wasn't anything good to channel surf to so I just watched it while I made some supper. His song about a car... man, I was writing lyrics better than that in 3rd grade. Really, I don't understand how he got so famous... oh, he was in that Beatles band wasn't he? I forgot for a moment. He should have hung it up after the Beatles were finished because everything he's done since has been pretty atrocious. At least his rendition of "Hey Jude" wasn't too bad. All in all, the halftime show gets a thumbs down for the sheer amount of boredom it caused me.
The advertisements, though, now there is why most people tune in. There were some decent ones this year. Here are a few that I liked:
--All of the advertisements with the monkeys. Who doesn't love monkies? I think every good commercial needs a monkey in it.
--The FedEx commercial detailing the 10 things needed to make a successful commercial. Any time you can work the words "groin kick" into an ad, you're money.
--The "don't judge too quickly" ad with the man holding the cat and the knife over the pool of spaghetti sauce was easily my favorite of the night. I was actually laughing out loud at it after it was over.
The following commercials were totally lame and a waste of good money:
--The preview for The Pacifier. A tip for Vin Diesel: stick to action movies where all you have to do is look gruff and hit people.
--The preview for XXX 2. Ice Cube as the new XXX? As if the first with Diesel wasn't bad enough. As for Samuel Jackson still being attached to the project? Man he gets himself into some real crappy flicks.
--The Mastercard commercial with the Marvel superheroes was pretty lame. I was expecting either a super campy spot or something seriously awesome. Turns out it was neither and because of that it was an utter failure. Way to whore out your properties even more, Marvel.
As for the rest, none really stick out in my mind a day after the event. I wanted to stay up and watch the new Simpsons episode and American Dad after the game, but I had reached my tv limit after watching the four hours the game went on for. So, in comparison to the last few Super Bowls, this one was pretty good. I was satisfied. Now if only the Vikings could ever get there... but that's kind of like asking for logical governmental decisions from our current president.
I started watching at about 5 or 5:15 just to see what they had on right before the game. About the time I turned it on they were doing some singing performance or other crap like that which didn't interest me at all so I went to grab something to drink and some snacks (Red Bull and Gummi Worms). When I got back a 15 minute military tribute had started. Is it just me, or was the whole military tribute thing unnecessary?
See, I usually try to keep my sports and my reverence for big events where lots of people died separate. If I wanted to recognize the troops of many of our nation's past wars, I'd go pop in a documentary or turn on the History channel or something of that nature. I wouldn't turn on a football game. To me using the anniversary of WWII seemed like a very transparent way of doing some type of tribute that makes it seem like we're doing the world a favor by what we did in Iraq. I'm sure it's a little bit of a better place now... I hope, but the way we went about it and how we executed our follow-up plan has felt like a really morbid joke to me, and this pre-game presentation seemed like a part of the punchline.
So after we're finished with our military propaganda... err, tribute, we get the national anthem which I thought was very well done. I like it much better when an ensemble of people sing it as opposed to a single person. It feels more professional and is less likely to be screwed up.
Next we had the coin flip, which was awesome for one reason--the coin never really flipped. The way that the kid tossed it up into the air was hilarious in that he did it in just the right way that it stayed parallel to the ground almost the entire time it was in the air.
As for the game, I thought it was decently entertaining. The first quarter was pretty boring in that neither offense could really muster much of anything, but I'd rather have that than having one team simply run away with the game. One thing that I would really liked to have seen, though, was TO just getting smashed a few times. I don't think I've ever disliked a professional athlete as much as I hate that cocky bastard. Someone should have given him a good, hard hit at the knees and really put some pressure on that ankle of his. I know it's terrible to wish injury on somebody, but he is truly a douchebomber if I've ever seen one.
The halftime show was ludicrously lame. I never really thought about how lame McCartney's songs were before the halftime show. Since we don't have cable there wasn't anything good to channel surf to so I just watched it while I made some supper. His song about a car... man, I was writing lyrics better than that in 3rd grade. Really, I don't understand how he got so famous... oh, he was in that Beatles band wasn't he? I forgot for a moment. He should have hung it up after the Beatles were finished because everything he's done since has been pretty atrocious. At least his rendition of "Hey Jude" wasn't too bad. All in all, the halftime show gets a thumbs down for the sheer amount of boredom it caused me.
The advertisements, though, now there is why most people tune in. There were some decent ones this year. Here are a few that I liked:
--All of the advertisements with the monkeys. Who doesn't love monkies? I think every good commercial needs a monkey in it.
--The FedEx commercial detailing the 10 things needed to make a successful commercial. Any time you can work the words "groin kick" into an ad, you're money.
--The "don't judge too quickly" ad with the man holding the cat and the knife over the pool of spaghetti sauce was easily my favorite of the night. I was actually laughing out loud at it after it was over.
The following commercials were totally lame and a waste of good money:
--The preview for The Pacifier. A tip for Vin Diesel: stick to action movies where all you have to do is look gruff and hit people.
--The preview for XXX 2. Ice Cube as the new XXX? As if the first with Diesel wasn't bad enough. As for Samuel Jackson still being attached to the project? Man he gets himself into some real crappy flicks.
--The Mastercard commercial with the Marvel superheroes was pretty lame. I was expecting either a super campy spot or something seriously awesome. Turns out it was neither and because of that it was an utter failure. Way to whore out your properties even more, Marvel.
As for the rest, none really stick out in my mind a day after the event. I wanted to stay up and watch the new Simpsons episode and American Dad after the game, but I had reached my tv limit after watching the four hours the game went on for. So, in comparison to the last few Super Bowls, this one was pretty good. I was satisfied. Now if only the Vikings could ever get there... but that's kind of like asking for logical governmental decisions from our current president.
Friday, February 04, 2005
Jimmy Chamberlin Complex - Life Begins Again CD Review
Jimmy Chamberlin is, no doubt, most well known for being a member of the pioneering alternative rock band The Smashing Pumpkins. To some fans of the Pumpkins, such as myself, he’ll be remembered as the one surrounded by trouble and mired with drug problems. After his ins and outs with the Pumpkins, and later after the band’s dissolution, Jimmy didn’t disappear from the music scene. Many of you will recall Zwan, which was Jimmy and Billy Corgan’s underwhelming follow-up to their days as Pumpkins. Now, a few years later, Jimmy is back again with a very spacey and eclectic new musical offering in Life Begins Again.
First off, if you’re expecting anything resembling The Smashing Pumpkins or Zwan, you are not going to find much here to fulfill your urges. True, there is one song featuring Billy Corgan—“Lokicat”—and there are a few driving alternative rock passages, such as can be found on “Cranes of Prey” and “Newerwaves,” but for the most part this disc is not going to be for fans of the Pumpkins. Having said that, if you give this release a genuine chance, you’ll find that it is actually a very well done, if a little self-indulgent, experimental space rock effort.
Many of the songs possess an airy feel to them in that they give the illusion of floating from one passage to the next. There are only vocals on a few tracks, so this is achieved almost completely through the changing of instrumentation styles and intricate soloing. At times, however, instead of keeping you aloft in a cloud of spacey sound, you are left feeling like you’ve listened to nothing more than an exercise in musical experimentation gone awry. A few tracks meander here and there aimlessly, which leaves these songs feeling empty and lacking meaning, but when a song comes together, watch out, because it’ll leave you in awe of its aural beauty.
There are two real standout tracks that deserve extra attention. The first is “Life Begins Again,” featuring Rob Dickinson of Catherine Wheel fame. It’s a real treat to hear Rob laying down some vocals again. It’s easily the strongest song on the disc, and it also showcases some great jazz influenced drumming from Jimmy. The other money track on this disc is “Lullaby to Children.” It probably would have more aptly been titled “Lullaby for Adults” since it is one of the more calming and beautiful songs to be found on this release and is definitely not geared towards a childish or immature musical taste.
In deciding if this cd is a good purchase or not, ask yourself two questions. First, am I looking for something similar to what Jimmy has done in the past? Second, how open are my musical tastes? If you answered “yes” to the first, then move along and go back to listening to Zwan or The Smashing Pumpkins. If you answered “pretty open” to the second question, snatch this cd off the shelves because you’re sure to enjoy it.
Ebay's Unquenchable Thirst
I've used Ebay plenty in the past and I still use it to sell my old stuff that I don't want any more. Usually that old junk consists of cds, dvds, books, video games, and comic books. None of them are very big ticket items. Most of the time the final bid on my items, assuming they sell, is around a dollar or two. With the increases to all of their ebay store fees, I got to thinking about how much money I actually make, and how much many sellers actually make via selling through ebay.
So let's say I list an item at $0.99. Ebay charges $0.30 for listing my item ($0.99 is the highest price you can start an auction at for the $0.30 fee).
Now let's say that my item ends and sells at $0.99. Ebay charges a 5.25% final value fee, which comes to be $0.05 (even though I'm thinking it's probabyl $0.06 since my guess is they round up).
So, right off the top Ebay gets $0.35, which is 35% of your sale. Now let's say you accept payment through paypal, an Ebay subsidiary. Paypal charges 2.9% of the amount accepted plus a $.30 transaction fee. So if you charged $3 for shipping on top of the $0.99 your item sold for, you end up paying Paypal $0.43.
So, if you combine the Paypal and Ebay fees, you are footing a $0.78 bill for your $0.99 item. Assuming you didn't overcharge for shipping, you're only making $0.21 on your item. Ebay gets 78% of your profit while you're left with 22%.
That amazes me and irritates me all at the same time. I don't accept Paypal because of the associated fees. This at times, scares buyers away because they want a quick, easy sale. Sometimes my items don't sell so I'm stuck absorbing the $0.30 listing fee of other items in the items that sold. Honestly, Ebay is a terrible rip-off, and I'm sure they know it, and I'm sure most seller know it, but what is anyone to do about it?
Really, what can anyone do? There is really no viable alternative to Ebay. Yahoo auctions are a decent deal, but not enough people use it so many of the items that I list to sell won't. For some things I could put them in an Amazon store or on Half.com, but with both of those cases I'm stuck holding on to my items indefinitely while I wait for someone to stuble upon my copy of an item and buy it. There are no other auction sites that are even moderately popular online outside of Ebay and Yahoo.
It's because of this lack of competition that Ebay can jack sellers and get away with it. Sellers have no other choice than to pay the fees in order to sell all their crap because they can't very well move to another online auction house because there isn't one where they could sell enough stuff to make it by.
In conclusion, Ebay sucks donkey nuts and I wish I didn't have to use them at all, but I do, and it sucks.
So let's say I list an item at $0.99. Ebay charges $0.30 for listing my item ($0.99 is the highest price you can start an auction at for the $0.30 fee).
Now let's say that my item ends and sells at $0.99. Ebay charges a 5.25% final value fee, which comes to be $0.05 (even though I'm thinking it's probabyl $0.06 since my guess is they round up).
So, right off the top Ebay gets $0.35, which is 35% of your sale. Now let's say you accept payment through paypal, an Ebay subsidiary. Paypal charges 2.9% of the amount accepted plus a $.30 transaction fee. So if you charged $3 for shipping on top of the $0.99 your item sold for, you end up paying Paypal $0.43.
So, if you combine the Paypal and Ebay fees, you are footing a $0.78 bill for your $0.99 item. Assuming you didn't overcharge for shipping, you're only making $0.21 on your item. Ebay gets 78% of your profit while you're left with 22%.
That amazes me and irritates me all at the same time. I don't accept Paypal because of the associated fees. This at times, scares buyers away because they want a quick, easy sale. Sometimes my items don't sell so I'm stuck absorbing the $0.30 listing fee of other items in the items that sold. Honestly, Ebay is a terrible rip-off, and I'm sure they know it, and I'm sure most seller know it, but what is anyone to do about it?
Really, what can anyone do? There is really no viable alternative to Ebay. Yahoo auctions are a decent deal, but not enough people use it so many of the items that I list to sell won't. For some things I could put them in an Amazon store or on Half.com, but with both of those cases I'm stuck holding on to my items indefinitely while I wait for someone to stuble upon my copy of an item and buy it. There are no other auction sites that are even moderately popular online outside of Ebay and Yahoo.
It's because of this lack of competition that Ebay can jack sellers and get away with it. Sellers have no other choice than to pay the fees in order to sell all their crap because they can't very well move to another online auction house because there isn't one where they could sell enough stuff to make it by.
In conclusion, Ebay sucks donkey nuts and I wish I didn't have to use them at all, but I do, and it sucks.
Everyone's Doing It
So, it seems like every blog does this at one time or another, and since I saw the Pickytarian doing it, I figured I would. The following searches have managed to bring people to my site:
inflamation of the nerves
No doubt this relates to my nerve inflammation. I hope they didn't come here looking for anything useful about it.
yesterday beastles chords
Why would someone string those words together? Who knows.
"how old do you act?"
Probably looking for some online quiz or some crap like that.
poker addiction
Some people just can't get enough.
testicles gone
I've gotten a fair amount of hits for that search. How many people really want to know what it's like with your testicles gone?
penis pictures
I'm glad at least one porn style search brings people to my site. I'd feel incomplete without it.
licking
What's really, really odd about this is I'm the 8th ranked result for this search on MSN. I wonder what that says about my content...
inflamation of the nerves
No doubt this relates to my nerve inflammation. I hope they didn't come here looking for anything useful about it.
yesterday beastles chords
Why would someone string those words together? Who knows.
"how old do you act?"
Probably looking for some online quiz or some crap like that.
poker addiction
Some people just can't get enough.
testicles gone
I've gotten a fair amount of hits for that search. How many people really want to know what it's like with your testicles gone?
penis pictures
I'm glad at least one porn style search brings people to my site. I'd feel incomplete without it.
licking
What's really, really odd about this is I'm the 8th ranked result for this search on MSN. I wonder what that says about my content...
Thursday, February 03, 2005
One Skin, Two Skin, Three Skin, Four
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
A Bounty Hunter's Resume
I got a big kick out of this article that I found while browsing the games section of slashdot yesterday. Nintendo, when they were trying out some viral marketing, posted a job opening on Monster.com for an intergalactic bounty hunter. They ended up getting all kinds of interesting results, many of them jokes as would be expected, but they also made mention of some truly disturbing and downright creepy resumes. They don't list what was actually in them, but I can only imagine what some of the people who answered quasi-seriously might be like. Maybe an ex-KGB agent who recently migrated into the US, or a disgruntled semi truck driver, or how about a convicted killer who was just released on good behavior. Yeah, I bet you could really get some creeps.
When I think about it, I might be qualified to be a decent intergalactic bounty hunter. I grew up on a farm with hogs. This might not mean much to a non-hog farmer, but anyone who has raised them knows you sometimes have to beat the living hell out of them to get them to move or do what you want them to do. Sometimes you are even forced to employ the use of shovel handles, ball pein hammers, and electronic shocking devices. Hogs have a notoriously thick skin and can take a lot of punishment. Combine that with their habit of being terribly stubborn and you have a formidable foe.
I have some years of target practice under my belt. Sure, it's been maybe a decade, but I'm sure I could brush up on my gun weilding skills rather quick. You see, I'd often get bored when I was at my grandma and grandpa's place so I'd have to find stuff to do all on my own. Well, since I had access to a BB gun there, I would often gravitate towards shooting things to pass the time. Firing BB's at targets and other normal things didn't really leave a satisfactory feeling when you hit the target. I'd get a bullseye, which is cool, but nothing cool would happen... so I got creative.
My grandparents kept pop cans in a bag in their garage, completely unsmashed. I would grab as many as I could carry, take them over to the water spout in the yard, fill each one up with water, and place them in a line across one of my grandma's picnic benches. From about 25-50 yard away, I would line up my shots at the various cans and watch as my BB rocketed through the can. If the can was not knocked over, I would be treated to water spilling out through the hole created in the can. Since a hit to either side of the can or too high on the top would cause the can to get knocked over, I had to work on my aiming so that I'd hit each can precisely on the lower half of the can in the middle. After weeks, probably months and maybe even more than a year, of doing this, I became pretty darn accurate. That was amazing for two reasons--the BB gun was a piece of crap and I really didn't like guns to begin with.
As for my stealth skills, I've got plenty of experience. Since my mother works at the local post office, she has to wake up extremely early, which also means she goes to bed really early. Since she's a light sleeper, whenever anyone was still up after she went to bed, silence in movement was a much needed skill. Many times when get home late at night, I don't even bother turning on the lights in any part of the house. I use tactile feedback and my knowledge of the surroundings in my house to find my way to my room in the basement. Obstacles such as cats, dogs, laundry baskets, and claymore mines would often impede my progress, but I always managed to get to my room with little to no noise or environment disruption.
You know, as I think about it more and more, I really should be an intergalactic bounty hunter. I bet pays better than my tech writing job. Even if it doesn't, I'd at least get to play with lasers and spaceships and other cool sci-fi gadgetry.
When I think about it, I might be qualified to be a decent intergalactic bounty hunter. I grew up on a farm with hogs. This might not mean much to a non-hog farmer, but anyone who has raised them knows you sometimes have to beat the living hell out of them to get them to move or do what you want them to do. Sometimes you are even forced to employ the use of shovel handles, ball pein hammers, and electronic shocking devices. Hogs have a notoriously thick skin and can take a lot of punishment. Combine that with their habit of being terribly stubborn and you have a formidable foe.
I have some years of target practice under my belt. Sure, it's been maybe a decade, but I'm sure I could brush up on my gun weilding skills rather quick. You see, I'd often get bored when I was at my grandma and grandpa's place so I'd have to find stuff to do all on my own. Well, since I had access to a BB gun there, I would often gravitate towards shooting things to pass the time. Firing BB's at targets and other normal things didn't really leave a satisfactory feeling when you hit the target. I'd get a bullseye, which is cool, but nothing cool would happen... so I got creative.
My grandparents kept pop cans in a bag in their garage, completely unsmashed. I would grab as many as I could carry, take them over to the water spout in the yard, fill each one up with water, and place them in a line across one of my grandma's picnic benches. From about 25-50 yard away, I would line up my shots at the various cans and watch as my BB rocketed through the can. If the can was not knocked over, I would be treated to water spilling out through the hole created in the can. Since a hit to either side of the can or too high on the top would cause the can to get knocked over, I had to work on my aiming so that I'd hit each can precisely on the lower half of the can in the middle. After weeks, probably months and maybe even more than a year, of doing this, I became pretty darn accurate. That was amazing for two reasons--the BB gun was a piece of crap and I really didn't like guns to begin with.
As for my stealth skills, I've got plenty of experience. Since my mother works at the local post office, she has to wake up extremely early, which also means she goes to bed really early. Since she's a light sleeper, whenever anyone was still up after she went to bed, silence in movement was a much needed skill. Many times when get home late at night, I don't even bother turning on the lights in any part of the house. I use tactile feedback and my knowledge of the surroundings in my house to find my way to my room in the basement. Obstacles such as cats, dogs, laundry baskets, and claymore mines would often impede my progress, but I always managed to get to my room with little to no noise or environment disruption.
You know, as I think about it more and more, I really should be an intergalactic bounty hunter. I bet pays better than my tech writing job. Even if it doesn't, I'd at least get to play with lasers and spaceships and other cool sci-fi gadgetry.
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Sparsity
As some of you may or may not have noticed, but my output of normal content has been on a slow downward trend as of late. In it's place has been either nothing or music reviews. I feel I should explain why this is. First, work has been a little more intense as of late, so I've been extra busy going through many of my technical writing chores. Second, I have been spending more of my writing time writing actual, physical letters to Kristin while she is in Central America. It's a nice change of pace to be using a pen and paper to write instead of my keyboard and monitor. Lastly, I've taken on a larger role over at Decoy Music.
Instead of simply writing and posting reviews, which were my only real responsibilities before, I am now responsible for writing and posting reviews, as well as finding and posting news, doing interviews (if I ever get my ass out to meet some bands at shows), and simply taking charge of running various sections of the site, such as bands of the week and battle of the bands. So, if you are really aching for new output from me on my slow days here, just pop on over to Decoy and see what I'm up to. While you're there, sign up for the community forums and come shoot the shit with us.
Instead of simply writing and posting reviews, which were my only real responsibilities before, I am now responsible for writing and posting reviews, as well as finding and posting news, doing interviews (if I ever get my ass out to meet some bands at shows), and simply taking charge of running various sections of the site, such as bands of the week and battle of the bands. So, if you are really aching for new output from me on my slow days here, just pop on over to Decoy and see what I'm up to. While you're there, sign up for the community forums and come shoot the shit with us.
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