Candy...

...will probably be the death of me, or least a source of much unneeded weight gain and sugar intake. When I get really busy and stressed out I always turn to food, even when I'm not even remotely close to being hungry. Today has been one of those days.

With clients incessantly hounding me to get things done before they all take off for vacation, I've been under the gun to finish up a bunch of documents and this has led to my consuming of way too many Peanut Butter Hershey Kisses, M&M's, and mini Snickers... along with a bowl of Spaghetti-O's for lunch and a bowl of Frosted Mini Wheats for a sorta healthy afternoon snack.

Yeah, with the holidays looming and work kicking me squarely in my ass (I had to end up working on one of my planned vacation days--maybe I'll tell the story later), I've been able to only focus on writing work documents and not fun, little personal blurbs like I would like to.

In lieu of my witty banter (or my poor imitation of it), check out Decoy Music's Top 20 feature that just went up this week. Go find some good music to listen to!

The Big Empty

Cowboys. Aliens. Blue suitcases and bowling balls. Strange things are happening out in the middle of nowhere. The tagline says it all really. This is not your average movie, and you won’t find anything like it at your local uber-cinema—maybe at an indy theater in a big city, but not really anywhere else. It might seem like it, but I wouldn’t exactly call this an anti-Hollywood picture, but it’s about as far as you can get from your big budget explode-o-rama’s, poop-piss-boob comedies, saccharine sweet melodramas, and horribly cheesy romantiflicks.

This unbelievably overlooked movie from 2003 can be picked up at just about any used dvd store, Hollywood video, or online for less than a 10-spot and it’s worth every penny. For being a movie that was made on a shoestring budget, it somehow stars a lot of current big names, such as Jon Favreau, Joey Lauren Adams, Sean Bean, and Kelsey Grammer. All of them turn in great performances, which is saying a lot, since three out of those four actors I can hardly stomach 90% of the time. Bean, on the other hand, is great in just about every movie he stars in, this being yet another.

So what the hell is The Big Empty about? Frankly, it’s hard to explain. At its core it’s about a down and out actor couriering a suitcase to the desert for an unreasonably large amount of cash so that he can pay off his credit card debt. From reading that, you’d think this movie would be more boring you’re your monotone college calculus professor. It’s not.

The reason it’s not is the myriad cast of characters. For example, the guy who hires John (Favreau) to courier the suitcase has been keeping tabs on John’s masturbatory patterns and his other varied uses for Vaseline. The man he’s supposed to deliver the case to isn’t just anybody either—he’s a pissed off cowboy trucker who is believed to be a serial killer in a neighboring state.

Not only are those two characters off the wall, so are all of the people that John encounters. There’s Randy, a guy who can’t let go of his ex-girlfriend so he continually kidnaps her and threatens to kill anyone that gets close to Ruthie (his ex). At one point John even has a stand-off with Randy, where John wields a gun with no bullets and Randy makes threats with a chainsaw, all the while with his ex tied up in the back of an open semi-trailer. Another interesting character is the dimwitted local who wears a hat with name on it (and doesn’t ever remember he does) and obsesses over how the government is building a bullet-train to shuttle people through the desert so they don’t find the aliens that are camping out there. These are only a small sampling of the zany cast! There are some people even more out of this world.

And speaking of aliens… it wouldn’t be that far fetched to think that John somehow ended up in an alien colony instead of a crazy, little town in the desert. Each scene is more surreal than the last and every new character a little more out there then the one before.

What makes the movie, as you may have been able to guess, are the characters and how different each of them are. The plot of the movie is interesting, but really this movie is a vehicle for the varied types of insanity put on display by the cast.

It’s almost Christmas time, so give yourself a cheap, little treat by picking up this criminally underappreciated movie. Don’t give any thought to the criticisms that some of the other critics out there have leveled against this movie. It really is a treat and well worth the $8 it’ll probably cost.

Two Different Kinds of Busy

This week, so far, has been phenomenally not awesome… mostly because of work. I don’t really want to say too much about it, but I can say that I’ve been stuck putting in longer than normal hours once again, as well as spending an inordinate amount of time dealing with people and issues that I think are just plain dumb.

Having said that, the weekend couldn’t get here soon enough. I want nothing more than to just forget about work for a few days and focus on doing other things, like hanging out with my family, being Santa for one of my friend’s Christmas parties, and going to visit Kristin in St. Cloud.

It’ll be a busy weekend (and couple of days after the weekend since I’m taking Tuesday and Wednesday off to visit Kristin), but busy in a good way. I would much rather be trying to adjust my schedule to do things I enjoy (like watching movies, going out to eat, playing video games, and reading) rather than things I don’t (like dealing with clients, rewriting documents, and playing the corporate games).

Unfortunately the weekend isn’t here yet and my work schedule isn’t really going to let up on me too soon, so my presence on the internet will remain somewhat muted.

Buying and Selling

It's getting close to that wonderful day of gift giving, that day where just about everyone in this undeniably materialistic country gives away and receives tons and tons of presents, that day where you get to hoard away all of your loot from your siblings a few scant hours after waking from a restless sleep wondering what you'd get... a day call Christmas.

I know that some of you might still be looking for stuff to get your friends, family, significant others, and other people you like to buy stuff for. Well, do I have a great idea for you! I would suggest you check out my auctions over on Yahoo Auctions.

I've switched over to using Yahoo because it's completely and totally free to list auctions which is way way way way way way way better then Ebay, who thinks it is their right to keep about half of your auction's value for themselves. Yahoo's auctions might not get the same exposure, but I'm willing to try out any competitor to Ebay.

Also, with it being close to Christmas, if anyone out there has the urge to buy me something, please puruse my wish list that I've set up on Amazon. And if you want to get at it in the future I put a link to it over on the right labeled "Buy Me Stuff". As much as I love giving gifts, it's fun to get them too.

Someone Else's Toothpaste

When I was in college, three and a half out of my four and a half years there was spent living with roommates.  My junior year, however, I had apartmentmates, but no roommates.  It was seriously pretty frickin’ rad having my own room and bathroom.  Basically it was like having a really really small apartment all to myself.

In this mini apartment, how I lived was completely up to me.  What I put in my room was up to me.  How often I cleaned was up to me.  Everything was decided by me.  I had my own personal domain and I loved it.

I put the books I wanted onto my bookshelf.  The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy never looked quite at like it did by my bed next to The Collected Works of Edgar Allan Poe.  My cd rack contained only what I wanted to listen to which was at the time, unfortunately, a lot of crap, such as early Limp Bizkit and Nickelback cds.  I know, I cringe thinking about it myself.

Everything was exactly how I wanted it and I figured it couldn’t get any better.  Then tonight as I was getting out of the shower it really hit me that I’m ready to move on from the solitary home life I have, a living arrangement where everything is decided by me.  It’s run its course and I’m ready to have someone else contributing to my living quarters.

I stood there in the shower drying off looking at my sink, with the myriad of things I have stacked around it—my toothbrush, hair gel, mouthwash, healing lotion, eye drops, and other assorted bathroom goods—and I had the most overwhelming urge to have something there that wasn’t mine.  I wanted someone else’s hand lotion to be there, or to have contact solution resting in the corner.  

I want to look into the shower and see not only my shampoo, but a bottle of conditioner that I’ll never use, but I’ll have to make room for.  I want to open up the fridge and see a bunch of vegetables that I think are gross sitting in front of my string cheese and Red Bull.  I want movies that I’d never even imagine buying interspersed on my dvd rack.

When I look at my nightstand-ish area of the railing in my room I keep imagining how nice it would be to have a jewelry holder next to where I set my wallet and palm pilot.  And under my bed… it wouldn’t just be spindles of cds full of random crap I burned but maybe a box or two of someone else’s stuff that is as equally ignored.

I don’t want everything to be just mine any more.  I desire signs of life other than mine to be present in my dwelling place.  Bring on someone else’s dirty laundry!  I can take it.  Heck, I want another person’s mess around.  Being surrounded by only my crap is starting to wear just a little thin.

Lucid - Digging Through CD Review

In today’s musical arena, especially when it comes to popular music genres, it’s pretty much impossible to find a band that is actually doing something original. Instead every new band that comes around is broken down into the different influences they play to. The vocals sound like band X, the rhythm section sounds like band Y, the guitars sound like that guy from band Z, and so on.

You never hear the sound of a band described as if it had not existed prior to creation of band any more. The reason for this is the multitude of bands, like Lucid, that keep popping up more than zits on a teenager with a pepperoni pizza obsession. Lucid are competent musicians that can write decent songs, but they’re content to just play to their influences instead of trying to push the envelope. They want to play it safe or are simply comfortable playing what they know, I’m not quite sure, but doing that isn’t going to get them recognized unless they are very, very lucky or know the right people.

The songs on Digging Through are all listenable, but far from original. The vocals are a huge Tool rip-off. Sure, the guy can’t really help it that his voice sounds just like Maynard, but the way that he uses his voice is exactly like Maynard did in Tool’s early and middle of the road years. Now if you’re a Tool or A Perfect Circle slut, then this is obviously a good thing, but for everyone else, they’ll just think to themselves, “Jeez, another band aping Tool. When is this going to end?”

The music Tool-ish, just like the vocals, but not nearly as progressive. All of the songs are in the 3:30 to 4:30 time range, which leaves little time for self indulgent noodling, which is good, but it also leads to this cd feeling very bland. The entire band know how to make acceptable songs, but the simplicity that runs through some of the songs makes the entire effort feel underdeveloped, but then again these guys are dealing with the addition of new members to their band as well as trying to put together an independently released debut, so maybe give them the benefit of the doubt.

If the more esoteric Tool clones (and Tool themselves) are a little too much for you to swallow, Lucid might be able to work for you. Given some time to mature, some introspection, and some development time given to their songwriting process, Lucid could probably put out a disc that would fit in along with the big boys, but for right now Digging Through is stuck in the competent independent debut category.

Kick Ass Work Names

Karl: I think we'll have to have meetings
Rick: Agreed
Rick: Organized by Stanley Lubesalot
Karl: We'll have to conference in Lenny Analstar
Rick: But we'll make Frank Lee Doinnowork an optional attendee. I know how much he hates meetings
Karl: It is hard to get a hold of him
Rick: These are going to be great meetings

X-Men 3 Needs to Get Here Now

So I’m a little bit of a comic book nerd.  You can’t work in the software industry and not have at least one geeky trait.  Knowing that, and knowing that I love the X-Men (if you didn’t know that before, now you do), you should be able to deduce that I have been looking forward to the 26th of May in the year 2006 quite heavily.  The reason for this—X-Men 3.

Finally, after some leaked internet photos and lots of speculation of how the movie was going to pan out, we’re treated to an actual preview of the movie.  

My initial thoughts are that it looks ok, but not spectacular.  X-Men 2 was pretty phenomenally awesome and it is still the defining comic book movie in my mind.  This one looks like it may be attempting to be a little too ambitious as well as trying to be too epic.  Some parts of the preview make me wonder if the writing/directing team aren’t going to try to cash in on the “big battle” syndrome that’s been plaguing Hollywood ever since Braveheart.

It’s hard to pull off the big battle scenes and few movies have done it well.  The Lord of the Rings did it well.  Star Wars Episode III did it well (I know, I feel dirty saying anything positive about that movie too).  Troy did it well.  War of the Worlds did it well.  Gladiator did it well.

On the other hand, Chronicles of Naria looks like they won’t do it right.  Pearl Harbor did it bad.  The Matrix Revolutions did it not so great.  The Last Samurai didn’t do it very well.  Star Wars Episode II did it quite crappily.  Windtalkers did it atrociously.  The Patriot did it very averagely.  Kingdom of Heaven did it semi-decent.

And X3 looks like it might fall more into the second category as opposed to the first.  I’ll remain optimistic, but I’ll temper my expectations for the action scenes.

As for the new characters, Beast looks passable but Angel looks kind of cheesy.  Of course, it’ll be easier to do Beast well as opposed to Angel, but I’d rather they have left both of them out of the upcoming movie.  There’s already two characters covered in blue make-up (Nightcrawler and Mystique), do we really need a third?

I’m still looking forward to it like you wouldn’t believe, but I’ll also be trying to keep my high hopes in check.

Thoughts About Planes

Planes aren’t so bad really… when they’re taxiing on the runway.  When they’re in the air, they are a very scary place for this simple midwestern boy.  
Oddly the two parts of flying that most people don’t like—the takeoff and landing—were the two parts of the trip that were the least stressful, relatively speaking.  Sure, there was a lot of stress crammed into those few minutes of each, but the stretching anxiety that was present the entire time the plane was in the air was almost worse… no, it actually was worse.

I’ve never liked heights.  I like having my feet firmly planted on something that isn’t going to suddenly disappear from underneath them or plummet thousands of feet to my most certain death or dismemberment.  When I was younger the ferris wheel used to creep me out more than zombies, the boogey man, and having to shower after gym class all combined together.

Being so high in the air was an amazing experience for most, but for me all I could think about was how many of my bones would be shattered when my pudgy body hit the ground after the seat I was in fell from the apex of the ferris wheel’s motion.  Usually I guessed 14… maybe more if I landed on my stomach (that would crack a lot of ribs).

With flying it’s supposed to be different.  It’s the safest form of travel according to most studies (although I think they forgot to look at walking as a viable travel method because I know that is way safer).  Throw all the statistics at me you want that shows how many less accidents there are with flight in comparison to driving and I’ll throw the one stat back at you that really scares me—the percentage of deaths in a plane accident in comparison to a car crash.

It’s almost a given that at some point you’ll get into a fender bender. No biggie.  It’s also a given that you probably won’t be in a plane crash.  Cool.  What sucks, though, is that if you do get into a plane crash you’re basically corpsified.  There are very few injuries in plane crashes—it’s usually just massive amounts of death, dying, painful death, and death by fireball or explosion.  Get into a car crash and you might break a bone or something at most a lot of the time.

So anyways, I didn’t like flying for two reasons: if the plane were to crash, my funeral would be a lot sooner than the May 12th, 2084 date I had planned and I hate heights.

Well, those two along with not knowing if the pilot was totally sauced while he was flying or not.  

Alive

I made it back ok, even after a couple of flight delays for de-icing and such. It wasn't all that utterly terrible, but it would not be my preferred method of travel. I don't like being so far from the ground. Ok, time to decompress and just enjoy the weekend. More thoughts on planes to come later... hopefully.