Robot Problems

If anyone out there has a Roomba that has malfunctioned in the past and managed to fix it, please let me know. You see, my Roomba is sick. In the head. It has lost its mind. And I don't want to have to resort to using an actual vaccuum cleaner because, you know, that wouldn't be that much fun.

At first I thought Roomba might just be drunk because when I turned him on and told him to get his ass cleaning, instead of making the nice circles that he does until he runs into a wall, he started driving off in a straight line away from his charger. Maybe he saw a big dirtball he wanted to get. Who knows? But after he got about 4 feet away from his home, he turned in one direction, moved a little, turned in another direction and moved a little more.

He seemed confused. Maybe he was overwhelmed with the amount of dirt and cat hair on my floor. Yeah, that was probably it. He wasn't drunk, just stressed out! That stress must be what caused him to run into the wall and then jitter around for a bit before running into the wall again, jittering some more, and then, frustrated, took off away from the wall.

At this point my little guy must have blew a gasket because he stopped dead in the middle of the floor, made a sad beep, and decided to not work any more, but instead sit there with his power and clean lights pulsating. The poor guy. Maybe he just needed more juice.

After charging him up to full power I set him loose again. Unfortunately he must have been overcome with dread at seeing all he would have to vaccuum because he went crazy again. Right now he's in a catatonic state charging in my room because I'm too afraid to set him loose again. I wouldn't want him to hurt himself.

So what do I do about my poor Roomba? How do I fix him? Send him to a robot shrink? Please help.

Skin Melting Hot

Yes, you are reading that correctly. It is 100 degrees and feels like 109 outside... in Minnesota. For a state that is well known for its cold winters, I think a lot of people that don't live here fail to realize that it also gets hotter than the devil's armpit in summer here as well. All this week it's been hovering in the mid to upper 90's, today it hit 100, tomorrow it's supposed to be at least as hot, and the heat wave seems likely to continue next week.

Let's just say that mowing lawn was more of a bitch than usual and I think I may very well die of heat stroke when I go for my run in a few minutes, but I need to get out of this damn house. I feel like I'm trapped sitting in here all day avoiding the blistering heat of the outdoors. It's odd, isn't it, that we Minnesotans lock ourselves up in the winter because it is too cold out and then when summer rolls around we do the same thing claiming it is too warm. Aren't we just so picky?

Sex Master!

So I was bored and decided to take this sex quiz. I really had no clue how I would do, but apparently I'm a freakin' sex genius! I scored 80% and according the results am an expert. Rock on! Actually, I just think I'm a pretty good guesser.

Interestingly, I stumbled upon this quiz when I was reading an article about the history of human sex. In the article it explores, to a modest degree, some of the questions I know we've all asked at some time like: Did cavemen do it more? Are we more sexually liberated than the seemingly prudish occupants of the 19th century? How do we differ from animals when it comes to sex?

I know I've often wondered these things. Our society today is so overrun with sexual imagery and sexual overtones that it's hard to imagine past generations being as sexually focused in their day to day lives. I look back at the traditions of people from less than a century ago and it seems like there was a definite lack of sexuality in everyday life.

Look at the concept of courting. It never happens any more. How often do kids go on dates with each other with the watchful eyes of their parents keeping a lookout? Hell, you don't even see that many honest to goodness dates any more. It's all about "hooking up" and then, if you are decently satisfied with the person you snagged before last call at the bar, you decide to see each other again. If not, you go your separate ways and repeat the process.

It amazes me how many couples I know who met up at a bar or party, hooked up, and then dated afterwards. I never understood that. I've always been the type of person who is so timid and shy when it comes to making a first move that I would never have been able to do something like that. Personally, I feel like I'm one of the few people that believes in the traditional concept of dating.

Another key difference I see between our generation and that of the many generations before ours is the amount of partners your average 20 something person has had. It's daunting, at times, to find out the number of people someone has been with. Has sex lost its meaning? Or has it just become something that is gotten to quicker in a relationship?

I'm afraid to see what the answers to some of these questions might be in 20-30 years when my kids are getting to be my age.

Summer Movies Suck

Watching movies is something I really enjoy. Being able to kick back for two hours, engross myself in something way more interesting than my mundane life, and either turn my brain on or off (depending upon the movie) does so much for me. Humans have always been story tellers and probably always will be and right now, outside of the devil-machine known as the television, movies are our main source of telling and hearing stories.

Summers are notorious for being the season of the year during which all of the studios put out their flagship titles, hoping to cash in on the more frequent movie attendings of people during the "relaxing" months of the year. Usually there is at least a movie or two to come out during the summer that doesn't suck, but this year I'm having a really hard time enjoying anything I've seen this summer. It seems like all of the blockbusters have been either bad or average.

What happened? Superman Returns was watchable, but pretty boring and riddled with plot holes. X-Men 3 was also watchable, but the whole thing felt cheesy and stupid and didn't have the cohesion of the second movie. Pirates of the Carribean succeeded in getting me to turn my brain off, but even so it didn't capture the spirit of adventure the first one possessed. I couldn't bring myself to watch Mission Impossible 3, The Da Vinci Code, or Poseidon because the previews made them look so "blah". I'm really feeling let down that there wasn't more to see.

I am keeping my hopes up for Clerks 2 that I'm going to try to see tonight and I am really looking forward to eventually seeing A Scanner Darkly, but beyond these two movies, the summer has been a let down. However, as I browsed the Apple trailers site, I am frothing at the mouth in anticipation for a ton of movies that will be coming out this fall. Just look at some of the killer movies coming out soon:

• Children of Men: A high concept film about a post-apocalyptic future where all of the world's women are barren. Clive Owen looks like he fits the part perfectly. The atmosphere looks appropriately dark and dismal.
• The Fountain: Aronofsky is a genius and the previews make it look like he's attempting to take his odd style to a whole new level. Straying away from a real life scenario to a fantasy setting might prove to be both a visual and metal trip.
• Renissance: Mostly the animation style of this movie interests me. The story seems to be well enough to hold the audience's attention, but it'll be interesting to see if this odd black and white animation style will make the movie hard to sit through or really interesting.
• The Prestige: Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale in a period piece about magicians. How can you possibly go wrong? The serious tone in combination with the hinted at otherworldly tones are drawing me in.
• The Illusionist: Ed Norton is drawing me into this one. The vibe of the movie seems to be very close that of The Prestige, but focusing more on love than oneupmanship. Should at least be good for Norton fans.
• The Last Kiss: I don't know if it's the fact that Zack Braff is the star of this movie or what, but it seems to be in the same vein as Garden State, which was one of my favorite movies of the last few years. Braff seems tailor made for roles such as this.
• Fearless: Martial arts fans, drool over this. Jet Li, in the couple of minutes in this trailer, looks to be in peak condition and the choreography seems like it'll be amazing. This is not one that you'll want to miss.

I'm sure there will be a few more good movies coming around this fall and winter beyond these, so it looks like we might have a much more crowded time this fall than this summer. Weird.

My Favorite STD

You know, I didn't even realize it until Ryan pointed it out, but I guess I have syphillis. Lucky me, huh? And to think that Ryan never gave me anything! I'll try and pass it on with care, buddy.

Why Business Travel Usually Sucks

This afternoon I'll be flying off to Chicago for work. I will work all day today, then leave work to go to the airport to fly out to Chicago, at which point I'll get in to town there with just enough time to maybe have dinner with a friend or sit and watch a couple of episodes of whatever TV show on DVD I bring along. The next day I'll work all day from Chicago and when I'm done will go back to the airport, fly home, and get back to my place just in time to throw my crap down, read a magazine, and then go to bed. The next day I wake up and start work again.

And that's the problem. Business trips are fun when you get to go places cool, like Mexico or New York, or get to go somewhere for an extended period of time, but most business trips are one or two day trips that monopolize the entire two days. I end up losing out on two evenings this week because I'm flying on both of them.

My time, especially my evenings, are important to me. I may not always have things planned to do. I know I really didn't for either today or tomorrow, but unlike some people work does not define me and I do not want work to be my life. Yes, we all have to work to get by and, yes, I will put in my time at work, but I do not want to be the type of person that has their life revolving around work.

Friends, family, pets, personal time, sports, and many other things outside of work are very important to me and I do not want to have to sacrifice them on the almighty altar of work. Because of this, I suppose it is lucky that I don't have to travel an ungodly amount like some people do, and I don't really mind the traveling as long as I get some "me time" while I'm doing it, but day trips tend to really get on my nerves.

To end on an up note, however, here are some flash animations of cats playing rock music. It's really, really bad, but I dare you to turn away. This one is my favorite.

Kids in the Way - Apparitions of Melody CD Review

No, I’m not really behind on reviewing this CD, but instead Flicker Records has decided to re-release Apparitions of Melody (which was previously released last year) in a new form with a re-ordered track listing and a couple of new songs. Oh, and a DVD with music videos and a small documentary with the band from the studio. I don’t know if these few small extras make this worth a purchase if you already own the original pressing, but for those of you who are new to the band, you could definitely do worse than picking up this release.

Playing a brand of nu-screamo blended with nu-emo, Kids in the Way have many shades of the more melodic moments of bands such as Alexisonfire and Dead Poetic, with their take on the genre being lighter than the former and more rock oriented than the latter. So is there really a need for another release, especially a re-release, in this already cramped genre? Truthfully, no, there isn’t much space at all. Ignoring the truth of the situation, however, you’ll find this to be a very competent and solid take on the worn hard rock with occasional scream genre.

Even though we have a very competent release, that doesn’t change the fact there are some really, really clunky songs on here. “This Could be the Song that will Change Your Heart” is way too heavy on the schmaltz and finds the band making a clichéd and painful ballad attempt. Then there’s “Breaking the Legs of Sheep” in which you find out what a horrible combination brit-rock influences, modern emo, and fifth grade poetry class can be.

It’s rough seeing a band turn out about 10 solid tracks and then have a couple which are totally out of place, as those few tracks ruin the flow and sound of an overall solid release. The other track that doesn’t quite fit, but isn’t all that terrible really, is the cover of Tears for Fears’ “Head Over Heels”. It’s competently done, but doesn’t capture enough of the feeling of the original or show off anything unique to the band making the cover.

This CD resoundingly comes through the reviewing ringer with a strong “blah” feeling, being not good enough to stand out, not bad enough to get noticed, and not unique enough to capture your ears’ attention. In some cases, this is almost worse than being bad. At least when a release is bad, it gets noticed instead of fading into the mass of other bands that are just plain “ok”.

Another Project Undertaking

Along with my caffeine purge that I underwent a couple of weeks ago, I have also been trying to be living healthier all around. About 2 weeks ago, the same time I was starting my purge, I also decided that in tandem with it, and after it, I would take better care of my diet, exercise schedule, and body as a whole.

What has resulted from the first two weeks has been a successful drop of nearly 10 pounds! As of yesterday I weigh 184 and two weeks ago I was right around 193. That's quite the accomplishment in my book. However, it isn't my goal. My goal would be to hit the magical 175, but I know that'll take more work. The first chunk of weight is always easiest to lose, but after that it takes a lot more work.

I've been watching my diet a lot more than I have in the past. Sure, I will still order pizza out with my housemates or toss in a hot pocket when I'm too lazy to cook, but instead of doing that for the majority of my meals, I've been making myself sandwiches, cooking pastas, and making non-microwave food. Additionally, my portion sizes have been under intense scrutiny. No longer am I satisfied to let myself gorge for supper or eat gigantic lunches in the hopes that I'll run it off later in the day. No, I actively manage my meal sizes to keep my stomach from becoming too stretched (thus leading to being continually hungry).

Exercise wise, lazy days of not letting myself do anything are over. Assuming I don't have a concert to go to or something else to do after work, I make sure to put in at least my 3 mile run, if not a tiny bit more, just to push. On weekend days that I don't have anything going on, I've been trying to get at least one or two days of two-a-day runs in, where I put in a 3 miler in the morning and then do sprints or another 3 miler in the afternoon.

So... can I do it? Can I keep myself on this path? Can I keep myself under 185 and maybe even reach down to under 180? I know I want to. I hate looking in the mirror and feeling like I've let myself go. It's so good to be able to look in the mirror and like what you see and I'm determined to feel that way again.

Albino Rarity

I have a feeling that albino squirrels might not be as rare as this article makes them out to be. According to this article, "only 10 in every one million squirrels are born with albinism." That means only 0.001% of all squirrels are albino, which makes the picture to the right, which sparked the article I linked to, so newsworthy.

Guess what Donita Clausen, the photographer who snapped this picture, you aren't the only special one. Just a week and a half ago when I went out for a run with my housemate, Karl, we came across a tried and true albino squirrel ourselves.

At first Karl didn't notice it and I just thought it was a rabbit. That was until it moved. It didn't move like a bunny, all hoppy and cute. No, it scrambled along the grass towards a tree, much like a squirrel. That's what caught my attention and caused me to stop running to check out the animal that caught my eye.

We moved in closer, seeing that it was a squirrel, to find out that it wasn't just a white squirrel, but that it was a white squirrel with red eyes. It was definitely albino, it was definitely full grown, and it was definitely a yard and a half from my feet.

So in the span of two weeks, in two different parts of the US there have been albino squirrel sightings. This would mean that there are at least 199,998 other squirrels around that aren't albino that the combination of Donita and myself will have to see before we see another albino.

Sounds like a challenge to me. Albino squirrel #3, here I come.

Cool Cart Car Thing

How cool of a vehicle is this? My mom snapped a shot of this during the 4th of July parade in Blooming Prairie, Minnesota this year. It's quite the clever idea and it is definitely unique. As opposed to your standard floats, which aren't really anything more than a hay rack or track gussied up with some advertisements and information, this is unique and actually required whoever made it to actually craft something unique from scratch.

See, if parades had more cool stuff like this I might go. That, and if it was ok for me to beat up the little kids to get the candy they throw out. Why should only the little tykes gets free, sugary goodness? I like candy too! Why can't 25 year olds run out and get candy during parades? I don't get it.